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A Lesson about Self worth…Part 2 of 2Helping Others

Here is a conversation between two recovering addicts, one addict helping another. “Andrea” is in her mid-20’s and is very new to recovery. “Jonathon” is in his mid-40’s has a couple of years of clean time. These two people have never spoken to each other before…
A Lesson about Self worth…Part 2 of 2 Click to Tweet
Mike Lindsey

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Our conversation in Part 1 ended with Jonathon stating, “You are feeling the paradigm shift…beginning to feel hey, I deserve better…but my deeply rooted habits have driven my behavior in this negative direction for so long. That it is all I know. This is where the work really begins in recovery. We need to change our thinking and re-wire our brains.”

Andrea: That makes total sense to me!!! I feel sooooo much better now knowing all of this in some ways. At the same time, I feel low for allowing myself to give in to him because I’ve been doing so well. Things like this make me think that I can’t trust anyone. Instead of giving in to him, I should have gotten a mean tone in my voice and let him know I was upset. I should have said, “Look, I told you no, and that means no!” I should have stood up for myself. This all makes me more leery of people. I guess now I know what to do if something like this happens again. Thank you!!

Jonathan: Well I hope this helped. One thing I learned in recovery is to never “should” on myself.  All you can do is learn from this situation and use the information going forward. Don’t kick yourself for perceived mistakes. These are lessons and can often be valuable. I know for this addict I had to stop all the different types of philandering. It not only hurt the people around me, it also destroyed my own self worth. Realizing this and removing this behavior early in my recovery really helped me heal and feel better about myself.

Andrea: That “never ‘should’ on myself” is perfect. I can remember that!!! This is what I have written to send to that guy. It might sound mean, but it made me feel waaaaay better after I wrote it all down.

K… I’m going to say…

Look, I’m sorry you are hurting, but that gave you no right to over step my boundaries last night. I gave you a hug, and you kept asking for more. Because of my past abuse and self esteem issues I reluctantly said yes and finally kissed you anyways. I’m sorry if you feel like I led you on I did not mean to do that. But, a “no” from me was a keep asking for you. It got to the point where I felt like I had to give in and kiss you because I didn’t want to be rude.

When you showed me the picture of your dick right after I got done talking to you about how only time and actions will tell, it made me think that maybe you are an addict, too. Not of drugs but of sex. I don’t need a relationship like this in my life, at all. There are men out there who will respect me for me and treat me how I deserve to be treated and wait on me. I’ve only known you for 2 weeks. I do not think your actions are appropriate for barely knowing me, period. I wish you the best of luck in life!

Jonathan: It is very good. It is far more than he deserves from you. BUT, this is about you. At the end of the day, you are not seeing him again. If this message to him gives you closure and makes you feel good then I applaud it. I would also encourage you to keep a copy of it for your journal. This is something for you to look at, if you need to down the road. This can be a confirmation of you taking action to love yourself.

Andrea: I thought it was a little judgmental. I was trying to be as nice as I could. It’s crazy; I guess I’m not used to it being all about me!! This is awesome!! Thank you so much for your help I really appreciate it!! You have a lot of good advice!! I definitely want this recovery to work in all aspects so thank you again!

Jonathan: You are very welcome. I am humbled and honored to be asked for advice. I am so glad some stuff helped out.

Andrea: Well, you are good at it!! God is working in my life through people like you!!

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In Recovery, we learn to love ourselves and value ourselves. We begin to set boundaries and our actions fall in line with this new found self worth. It doesn’t happen immediately and I think that might be what you are feeling. You are feeling the paradigm shift…beginning to feel hey, I deserve better…but my deeply rooted habits have driven my behavior in this negative direction for so long. That it is all I know. This is where the work really begins in recovery. We need to change our thinking and re-wire our brains.

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Self Worth

A Lesson about Self worth…

Self Worth

Here is a conversation between two recovering addicts, one addict helping another. “Andrea” is in her mid-20’s and is very new to recovery. “Jonathon” is in his mid-40’s has a couple of years of clean time. These two people have never spoken to each other before…
Self Worth: One Addict Helping Another Click to Tweet
Mike Lindsey

Mike Lindsey SFYB AIR Store

Andrea: So… I was talking to a friend about this today and I wanted your opinion too! Do you have a few minutes?

Jonathan: Sure, what’s up?

Andrea: So, I invited a guy friend over to play board games with me and my family last night. I have only known him for 2 weeks. Throughout the night, he kept begging me for a kiss. I kept saying no but I finally gave in and I fucking kissed him anyways. It didn’t end there. He kept bringing up sexual stuff and I kept saying idk and I don’t want to talk about this. THEN he showed me a picture of his dick while I was driving him home.

I told him that only time and actions will tell what kind of a person you are. Friendship is all I can handle right now, so I told him that. I want to tell him, “Hey you pissed me off and over stepped my boundaries”.  But at the same time I don’t want to say shit. I just want to block him!

Jonathan:  You do not owe him anything. If you don’t foresee crossing paths with him then block away. If you feel you need to send a goodbye note that is fine, too. But any second chance or rebuttal for him is out of the question. I apologize he acted that way.

Andrea: Thanks… I don’t know why but I feel like I care too much for others. Maybe I just care what other people think too much! This is so confusing. I think telling him goodbye and the reason why would help me feel better. I do know I deserve to be treated better. Sex addiction is real, I think he might be struggling with sex addiction. There is no room for that in my life. I’ve been abstaining from sex so far in my recovery. It has not been easy, but I have been feeling much better about myself!

Jonathan:  Yes, all of this that you explain is all part of addiction and recovery. We have to clean out everything! Otherwise our addiction comes alive all over again. If I quit drugs, but kept serial dating and sleeping around, I would be lying to myself and everyone around me. Then I wouldn’t get to experience the miracles of recovery.

Andrea: I agree with you 100 percent! Sometimes I feel like I don’t know what to do when people act like that towards me. I think it might be because I was abused for 4 years. Do you think that could be part of my giving in?

Jonathan:  Totally!! As an addict, I struggle with self worth. I feel I do not deserve better for myself. I always hope people like and accept me, regardless of what I may really think of them. It’s like, what can I do to make sure I am liked? This can totally put me in bad spots with bad people. I choose to forego my morals and just settle for whatever and whoever comes along.

Click Image Below For Part 22017-04-09_3-39-00

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In Recovery, we learn to love ourselves and value ourselves. We begin to set boundaries and our actions fall in line with this new found self worth. It doesn’t happen immediately and I think that might be what you are feeling. You are feeling the paradigm shift…beginning to feel hey, I deserve better…but my deeply rooted habits have driven my behavior in this negative direction for so long. That it is all I know. This is where the work really begins in recovery. We need to change our thinking and re-wire our brains.

Conversation to be continued…

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Bipolar 2

Bipolar 2 Depression – Invisible, yet VERY RealBipolar 2

I have Bipolar 2, which for me manifests itself in long, severe depressive episodes. I literally sleep all day and all night for 2-5 days straight. It has definitely hurt my work performance and reliability, which has cost me some promotions and raises. I even lost a couple of pretty good jobs over the years.

For years, I self-medicated with drugs and alcohol. Undiagnosed and unaware of the cause of my issues with bipolar depression, I continued using and drinking for relief. This really took a toll on my family and my marriage. Finally, I went to see a psychiatrist for help. I continued treatment for a while, but I continued to use. My inner addict wanted nothing to do with quitting my addictions.

Mike Lindsey

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Going through the motions to appease my wife solved only one thing, the ability to continue my active addiction. Playing both sides of the fence, I was unable to get a true measure on the effect the counseling and medications were helping. I soon became frustrated and ended treatment. Then things only got worse, for many years to follow.

I have been in recovery for 2 1/2 years now. With a new clear mind, I am constantly working to find the right mix of anything to help reduce my depressive episodes. I have tried things such as counseling, medication, diet, exercise, no caffeine, and on and on. Stigma and lack of knowledge surrounding mental health issues has really surprised me.

I have Bipolar 2, which for me manifests itself in long, severe depressive episodes Click to Tweet

I mentioned all of that to get to this…My girlfriend has Rheumatoid Arthritis. She has some flare ups at times that cause severe pain and swelling.  Sometimes things are so bad that it can even render her immobile. This is not a condition that I would wish on anyone. I began to notice there were similarities in our afflictions. There are also significant differences in the perception between the two . The issues and challenges with RA are visible. They are physical in nature. I can SEE the swelling and the lack of mobility. I cannot see or feel her pain, but I can SEE her intense reactions to the pain.


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When we met and later moved in together, she did not have much experience in dealing with someone with Bipolar 2. It was difficult for her to wrap her head around my episodes.

She wasn’t vocal with the whole “snap out of it” or “just get up” type stuff. But I could see that she did not understand my depression at all. My up and down moods were taking a toll on our relationship.

One day, I explained to her exactly what I go through on a daily basis. She needed to know how Bipolar 2 makes me feel and the impact the depression has on me. I slept in bed for 24 hours a day. This is not something I want to do. Nor do I want to give up things I enjoy doing, or going to see people I enjoy visiting with. I did not want to be less than at work or at home. Simply because I shut down and “disappeared” for days at a time.

I compared each of my Bipolar 2 symptoms to each of her RA symptoms. She began to understand and show empathy for what I deal with.

Depression is not visible so it is not real, right? WRONG! I believe that is a large part of the stigma that surrounds many types of mental illnesses. We do not ask people with a broken spine to snap out of it. Hey, I know you have a broken leg and can barely walk but I need you to just work through that and come help me move out of my house. Those statements and expectations would be ridiculous.

So how do we fix it?

Click Here FAQ’s

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Ass HAts

Comcast AssHats Ripping Off Seniors For Billions

Ass HAts

Corporate Monopolies Ripping Off Seniors for Millions if not Billions of Dollars in America. PLEASE SHARE!
Robert Henslee

SFYB Publisher

Enough is enough I say. Hello everyone my name is Robert Henslee I work with many people from all walks of life. That includes the elderly. Over the last few years I’ve become more involved with senior citizens who are struggling just to survive. Many living on fixed incomes eating stuff that would make a billy goat puke. This country is in a sad state if you ask me.

Many times these individuals approach me because the buzz on the internet I can and usually do help ppl in some way. Many read the various articles I publish on stop frying your brain. 174,000 subscribers.

Dozens of seniors reach out to me. These people are in their 80’s and 90’s. When they approach me, it’s usually the same statement. I don’t have enough money to eat. Can I help? Reviewing their monthly finances we seem to be finding cable bills in excess of $100.00 or more. How can this be? Are these seniors really making such poor choices. Having cable bills in excess of a hundred dollars and they can’t even eat? WTF?

At first I got angry… telling them they have to be more responsible running their life. I usually follow this up with a phone call to an active family member. But more recently I had a similiar experience with one of the local cable companies myself and then I learned just how this scam works.

scam

And folks let me tell you in my opinion this is a scam and these company executives should be locked up for doing this.

These seniors are the latest victims by a corporate monopoly out of control. Shame on our government officials for allowing this to happen.

 

collagedeoldpeople

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Please allow me to explain my own personal experience with a company called Comcast Cable.

He’s how the scam works and extracts food right out of seniors households and inflicts massive suffering.

It starts out at the local bingo or association meeting. Some slick sale’s person announces the “NEW BARGAIN” called something like the “Golden Starter Package” for some really ridiculous price like $39.00. And of course all the seniors jump all over it.

1000’s sign up for it. However the $39.00 price is only good for a few months and then it jumps to $120.00 but these people don’t understand that. When you’re 80 years old you’re not always the sharpest pencil in the box. They don’t understand the $39.00 price doesn’t include the $20 dollars in taxes too. Nor can they explain specifically what they purchased. I mean WTF is a basic “Golden Bundled Starter Package” anyway?

Businesswoman screaming down phone

Daughter screaming down phone on hold with comcast cable service after getting hung up on and waiting for hours. We value your call please hold. Liers!

During the course of calling in and complaining customer service reps (which barely speak english and not in the USA) service reps usually get automatic bill payment enabled on the subscriber. Full access to their bank accounts.

A few months later these companies are ripping off citizens for major money… as the actual rate kicks in taking their money right out of their bank accounts. Without their personal knowledge and ripping them off for thousands all while destroying the quality of their lives .

Only in America. Talking about bait and switch.. deceptive advertising. But it gets worse. Much worse. This is so sad these companies prey on the elderly like this. What a GREAT company Huh?

organized_crime

Hey Donald Trump can you do something about these dishonest media companies ripping off our seniors?

Personally a similar experience myself some 90 days ago getting ripped off by this monopoly.

Then I understood. I called and complained about my ridiculous bill (took almost 1/2 day – welcome to the worlds worst customer service) I was promised my bill would be adjusted and not to worry. Well it wasn’t .Did I mention I’ve done this four times now. That’s good service huh?

Then on subsequent calls they would refuse to adjust the bill until the past due bill ( the one that should be adjusted in the first place) is remitted and paid in full.

Talk about getting ripped off. Going on now for 120 days or better. I figure they have stolen in the neighborhood of $1000.00 dollars from me personally with this scam. Multiply that by millions of seniors.. This scam in excess of a billion dollars? Somebody should go to jail if you ask me.

Here are some other options for seniors

  1. https://www.reddit.com/r/cordcutters/wiki/index
  2. https://www.rveal.com/collections/all/products/rveal-bundle-streaming-media-player-mini-touchpad-remote
  3. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8QPIW3ECIPA

So pass this on (SHARE) to everyone you know especially all grand ma’s and grand pa’s in the USA. Oh and please read my latest rant on Linked In about my piss poor customer service experience with Comcast. Click Here

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