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Reach: 72.4k Reg & 86k+ Facilities & 26.8M Social Media + (Email Community Total 180k) Nations largest organic addiction related community. Welcome Andrea Grubb Barthwell, M.D., F.A.S.A.M., is the founder and CEO of Two Dreams and past president of ASAM

Lesser Than

john wallace

John SFYB Admin/Outreach

Feelings and thoughts of being lesser than, echoing memories of those I’ve hurt along the way, the often seemingly insurmountable path to recovery that lay ahead and wreckage of my past that must cleared along the way are just a few of the challenges getting clean has presented. As I trudge this path I discover health issues from the years of abuse, emotional instability, and more pronounced immaturity, I grew up getting loaded and therefore stinted growth in such areas. Dental decay, Hep C, Insomnia, and a Criminal Record that isn’t going away, lack of schooling and a sporadic employment at best leaving me basically unemployable and faced with the thought of what’s next.

The trickster in my head wants me to forget that exactly what it would have me return to is what brought me to this state of disarray and turn back by inflating the struggle ahead into an impasse. Futile and not worth it, failure is far more comfortable to a dope fiend like me, normality versus the chaos I crave seems no match at all some days and therefore I pray. Hitting my knees some days and others sat upright or as I walk, occasionally while talking to you, often while I write, I pray and there are no specific words I say yet Please and Thank You are said most of all.

Recently some have suggested I slow down, well I don’t know how. Those who have come along dressed as everything from friends to family, advocates, and guardian angels only to let their true colors show have no bearing on my continued flow for each day something carries me along and each day I let. Protected from seeing the full scope of the damage I’ve caused, saved for a reason, and determined to reach as many as I can regardless of the cost I swear I will find a way.

A darkness has descended upon us in the form and shape of addiction slaughtering countless souls caught in its grips, my ability to break free of that nose dive is by no effort of my own. Being clean is a gift granted to me by a God I do not understand yet still I pray and therefore I give Thanks each time and say Please when asking that the obsession be lifted from one more day. Being granted this gift comes at a cost that I gladly put forth the effort to pay each day by carrying a message of hope, this debt is spiritual and God willing will never be fully paid for the energy to carry on is also delivered by its efforts. The struggles, challenges, and downright difficulties I listed are given a free ride in these efforts and the path is lit so long as I do this work well, I will not apologize for it and have no reputation to uphold.

The smiley faced glad hands who stroke their egos under the guise of spiritual beings be damned, they are sicker than the sickest of addicts and the lowest of bottom feeders I’ve encountered, preying on the weakened family’s pocketbooks like scavengers. These such pathetic individuals have come out of the wood works since my journey with Stop Frying Your Brain began and the loosely worn masks of genuine people fail to conceal that which lay beneath. The haters have come along on their coat tails, attempting to dampen my efforts yet claiming to have the same eventual goal of delivering a message and helping the addict who is still sick, if that were true than why the hate.

There should be no conflict if our mission objective is the same, no competition if we are all moving towards the same eventual goal and only collaboration if we all wish to see the sick become well. That and that alone is my objective and if your efforts also be true to that cause then onward we go aligned with one another regardless of the cost and indiscriminate towards who we help. If you pick up the phone and call me in need I will focus my efforts on finding you that help regardless of your insurance carrier and without regard for your financial means. Sure you can dig deep and pay for the comfort and soft pillow of high priced treatment but please do not confuse that with recovery, that is priceless and has no regard for your economic standing. Recovery cannot be bought despite commercials and facilities trying to sell it, no program in existence offers anything near a guarantee regardless of how hefty their price tag might be as freedom from active addiction is available to us all.

If you believe my efforts to be a challenge to you yet your motivation be true then by all means compete, please do your very best to reach as many as you can and carry a message of hope for I applaud your every step along the way. The addict that still suffers is my mission, delivering any form of inspiration that might aid them onward to a better life and save them so that they might in turn do the very same for the those yet to come. The unborn addict, the addict yet to take their first hit, sip, smoke or shot, the family suffering alongside of them and those families that which produce them most I seek to help break the cycle so that those yet to come will find this message before finding out on their own how dark and lonely addiction truly is. This is my objective and in these efforts,

I have found a sense of ease and comfort far greater than any narcotic could ever provide, a sense of lasting peace and protective shield from those who might seek to thwart my efforts. Quite ironic that I have found the most resistance from those claiming the same objective, the most critics among a community claiming the same goal and the most hate from those I watch mimic the style in which I go about doing so. Some of these people are profit mongers, ego maniacs and narcissists and that grace that protects me from the obsession to use also shields me from their efforts to bring me down.

Others too are exactly like me and driven by the natural human condition to compete they will find a greater voice and for that I am grateful, my prayer today is that God help me distinguish better between the too, continue to guide my every step and continue to shield me from the darkness I surround myself with in a world of addicts and the scroungers that prey upon them and their families. Live grateful, find your voice, speak loudly and reach many!

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Stop Frying Your Brain song kept rattling around in my head after visiting their website. It was worse than it’s a small world at Disneyland. Eventually… I would hook up with those guys and it’s all because of that one stupid song.

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Live Grateful

john wallace

John SFYB Admin/Outreach

Often the only case presented for public view is that of the negative, the business of scandal yields a far greater return and even as I begin to swerve the discussion to the positive I find myself pulled towards a negative review of negative reviews. There seems something in our very nature that makes us much more drawn to the sensation of bad news, poor reviews and generally negative opinions spewed and in my meditation on such matters I’ve seen through to a possible clue as to why this might be. For being alive itself is a state of such grace and a blessing so great that our gift of consciousness finds an imbalance when measured against its power and attempt to seek a harmony in the discord of life’s tragedies.

Like a lady with holiday ham under one arm crying because she has no bread, we steer our own thoughts and views in a direction to combat a state of constant bliss and have learned this behavior as a culminated species. Take for instance the persecution of those set only to the task of promoting peace, the headline news focused on violence instead of joy, the disaster making better ratings then the rescue effort, this has become the human condition as we have conditioned ourselves to it. Yet consider for a moment the power that could lay in the seams of shared psychic shift, industries may crumble and profit mongers leveled, not by bomb but love and light.

The very notion of death and the human construct surrounding it required a heaven to make sense of it all, yet imagine if eternity was in the love itself and as we are all made up of light what else could it be, when seen with open eyes. Embracing the hereafter and having absolute faith in eternity while remaining grateful for my finite self, I have seen through to a better way and it carries me through each day. Keeping only that which serves me in my line of sight, seeing through to the positive in everything and even counting life’s challenges amongst my blessings is a discipline from which I often stray yet the brightness that this light shine through with draws me back each time.

The path of excess and the illness of addiction once on the road to recovery and all the way in the solution ranks among that for which I am most grateful, serving as my greatest asset as only those who have lived in the darkness can truly appreciate the light. Imagine the beauty of color seen by a man blind since birth or Mozart to the man born deaf and you’ll know power of God’s grace once felt the Godless. A lifetime in hell was well worth the journey as I have been set free and found a freedom unknown in the reaching out for others which is the only insurance I hold against recidivism.

Hell awaits again only arm’s length away if I so choose to reach and the only thing keeping me from stretching my arm is a power so great I would never assume to understand it fully. What I can tell you with absolute certainty is that what began as humble a faith as a door knob could be has opened into the broadest scope I could ever imagine. The devil is a coping mechanism for monotheists for the true evil is within, as all things are only expressions of the same thing so I do to this web, I do to myself. Returning to that dark, lonely place I know so well will always be a choice and the only safe guard I have from choosing to return would be the sense of ease and comfort I found far greater in helping others.

As an addict, I only found two real directions in life, better or worse and in turn knew that I could either get comfortable with the notion of begging for help or helping others. Today I choose the later and for the ability to make that choice I thank a God that which grants me that power.

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Stop Frying Your Brain song kept rattling around in my head after visiting their website. It was worse than it’s a small world at Disneyland. Eventually… I would hook up with those guys and it’s all because of that one stupid song.

Theme song short

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The Beauty of the Forest

john wallace

John SFYB Admin/Outreach

The disease of addiction doesn’t come at me with a full-frontal assault as it knows better, centered in my mind it has spent a lifetime getting to know me and my weaknesses.

This affliction is not external, it is as much a part of me as the nose on my face and as it is progressive in nature the further I am from my last fix the more of it I have. Powerlessness doesn’t go away, as a lack of power is my dilemma then the solution would be to seek a power and in such seeking, is where I have found it. The power I have found to find freedom from active addiction is granted to me by the power that I seek in spirituality. These are matters for each man to discover for themselves as recovery is not a team sport, we each walk our own path, have our demons and the although our solution may be the same the means by which we find it can often differ.

The anonymous fellowships that meet regularly to discuss the program of action found within their literature have often, in my mind been confused with the program itself and this has resulted in conflict, strife, struggle, and relapse throughout my path. Having lost sight of the beauty that forest holds for the ugliness of some of it trees I took what I heard in meetings in all sorts of ways confusing it for the simple instructions I would have found if only having cracked the book. The printed word may have been written by man yet I believe it to be divinely inspired and it’s track record for success if without parallel however what is said before finding the willingness to delve into the literature could potentially prove fatal.

Having sat in the rooms long enough to know that some insanity is usually at play in each of our lives and listened to the disease spew from our mouths I must stay vigilant to remember my words are powerful and may be the first introduction to the program an addict will receive. The program is in the literature and the fellowship is where we gather to discuss that program and give each other support while applying it in our lives. This be true from the newest newcomer to the oldest old-timer and for everyone in between as it makes no difference how far I am from my last fix, I’m no further from the next regardless of the length of time that passes.

 

Occasionally I will witness behavior becoming of a person still caught in the grips of the disease who is in fact decades from their last buzz, this is proof of the progressive nature our disease holds and I stay grateful that we are not all sick at the same time. Dope and Booze are the means by which we treat this disorder until a spiritual solution is found and this disease I have found can and will only be treated in one of those two ways. Either seek a spiritual solution or seek out that next high for those of us afflicted don’t have much middle ground between getting better or getting worse. This is the engine behind our success usually, defying all odds and rising above even the greatest of expectations regardless of how far we had fallen before our arrival.

Today I am blessed and celebrate a relationship with a higher power I do not understand yet trust in its ability as it shields me from thoughts of using and the self-destructive nature my illness yields. It is a gift that I receive so long as I stay the course and avoid the booby traps and pitfalls I have fallen prey to so many times before, when I stay in the solution I find more of it. If I were to travel to any bar room floor or dope den I’m certain I could easily find droves of folks with the same dilemma as myself yet in the rooms I seek solution, I’m interested in the problem as I have plenty of it, I want to hear and share about just what exactly we do about that problem.

What are we doing that works, how do we continue to do it and where do we go when things get rough is the basis upon which the fellowship thrives and continues to save lives. One addict at a time, we do get better, we do get back up and for this we do need each other yet be you one man with the book in your hand you have all you need for a beginning. Follow the instructions within as a manual for better living, where it says to write, pray, share, and work with others follow suit and do as it suggest and you will be amazed at how your life transforms from desperation to inspiration. Each and every one of us who arrives has an amazing opportunity to do something about our problems, the problem is that it works so well you may forget you have a problem and this is why we keep coming back!

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Stop Frying Your Brain song kept rattling around in my head after visiting their website. It was worse than it’s a small world at Disneyland. Eventually… I would hook up with those guys and it’s all because of that one stupid song.

Theme song short

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To Learn More About Sober Living Click Image Below
Please Help Us Help

Please Join My Face Book Page So We Can Help Others. Click on Image Below

Click To Learn How You Can Help
Click to learn more about social media marketing

Thinking about Detox? Everything your want to know click pic below.

Play out theme song and learn something. It can help you from using

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