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Reach: 72.4k Reg & 86k+ Facilities & 26.8M Social Media + (Email Community Total 180k) Nations largest organic addiction related community. Welcome Andrea Grubb Barthwell, M.D., F.A.S.A.M., is the founder and CEO of Two Dreams and past president of ASAM

Lesser Than

john wallace

John SFYB Admin/Outreach

Feelings and thoughts of being lesser than, echoing memories of those I’ve hurt along the way, the often seemingly insurmountable path to recovery that lay ahead and wreckage of my past that must cleared along the way are just a few of the challenges getting clean has presented. As I trudge this path I discover health issues from the years of abuse, emotional instability, and more pronounced immaturity, I grew up getting loaded and therefore stinted growth in such areas. Dental decay, Hep C, Insomnia, and a Criminal Record that isn’t going away, lack of schooling and a sporadic employment at best leaving me basically unemployable and faced with the thought of what’s next.

The trickster in my head wants me to forget that exactly what it would have me return to is what brought me to this state of disarray and turn back by inflating the struggle ahead into an impasse. Futile and not worth it, failure is far more comfortable to a dope fiend like me, normality versus the chaos I crave seems no match at all some days and therefore I pray. Hitting my knees some days and others sat upright or as I walk, occasionally while talking to you, often while I write, I pray and there are no specific words I say yet Please and Thank You are said most of all.

Recently some have suggested I slow down, well I don’t know how. Those who have come along dressed as everything from friends to family, advocates, and guardian angels only to let their true colors show have no bearing on my continued flow for each day something carries me along and each day I let. Protected from seeing the full scope of the damage I’ve caused, saved for a reason, and determined to reach as many as I can regardless of the cost I swear I will find a way.

A darkness has descended upon us in the form and shape of addiction slaughtering countless souls caught in its grips, my ability to break free of that nose dive is by no effort of my own. Being clean is a gift granted to me by a God I do not understand yet still I pray and therefore I give Thanks each time and say Please when asking that the obsession be lifted from one more day. Being granted this gift comes at a cost that I gladly put forth the effort to pay each day by carrying a message of hope, this debt is spiritual and God willing will never be fully paid for the energy to carry on is also delivered by its efforts. The struggles, challenges, and downright difficulties I listed are given a free ride in these efforts and the path is lit so long as I do this work well, I will not apologize for it and have no reputation to uphold.

The smiley faced glad hands who stroke their egos under the guise of spiritual beings be damned, they are sicker than the sickest of addicts and the lowest of bottom feeders I’ve encountered, preying on the weakened family’s pocketbooks like scavengers. These such pathetic individuals have come out of the wood works since my journey with Stop Frying Your Brain began and the loosely worn masks of genuine people fail to conceal that which lay beneath. The haters have come along on their coat tails, attempting to dampen my efforts yet claiming to have the same eventual goal of delivering a message and helping the addict who is still sick, if that were true than why the hate.

There should be no conflict if our mission objective is the same, no competition if we are all moving towards the same eventual goal and only collaboration if we all wish to see the sick become well. That and that alone is my objective and if your efforts also be true to that cause then onward we go aligned with one another regardless of the cost and indiscriminate towards who we help. If you pick up the phone and call me in need I will focus my efforts on finding you that help regardless of your insurance carrier and without regard for your financial means. Sure you can dig deep and pay for the comfort and soft pillow of high priced treatment but please do not confuse that with recovery, that is priceless and has no regard for your economic standing. Recovery cannot be bought despite commercials and facilities trying to sell it, no program in existence offers anything near a guarantee regardless of how hefty their price tag might be as freedom from active addiction is available to us all.

If you believe my efforts to be a challenge to you yet your motivation be true then by all means compete, please do your very best to reach as many as you can and carry a message of hope for I applaud your every step along the way. The addict that still suffers is my mission, delivering any form of inspiration that might aid them onward to a better life and save them so that they might in turn do the very same for the those yet to come. The unborn addict, the addict yet to take their first hit, sip, smoke or shot, the family suffering alongside of them and those families that which produce them most I seek to help break the cycle so that those yet to come will find this message before finding out on their own how dark and lonely addiction truly is. This is my objective and in these efforts,

I have found a sense of ease and comfort far greater than any narcotic could ever provide, a sense of lasting peace and protective shield from those who might seek to thwart my efforts. Quite ironic that I have found the most resistance from those claiming the same objective, the most critics among a community claiming the same goal and the most hate from those I watch mimic the style in which I go about doing so. Some of these people are profit mongers, ego maniacs and narcissists and that grace that protects me from the obsession to use also shields me from their efforts to bring me down.

Others too are exactly like me and driven by the natural human condition to compete they will find a greater voice and for that I am grateful, my prayer today is that God help me distinguish better between the too, continue to guide my every step and continue to shield me from the darkness I surround myself with in a world of addicts and the scroungers that prey upon them and their families. Live grateful, find your voice, speak loudly and reach many!

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Stop Frying Your Brain song kept rattling around in my head after visiting their website. It was worse than it’s a small world at Disneyland. Eventually… I would hook up with those guys and it’s all because of that one stupid song.

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Please don’t die…..I love you with all my heart!Dragon Rich

Rich Walters

Rich Walters SFYB Senior Editor/Author

Loving an active addict is one of the toughest things in the world…..

 

It will literally destroy you as a human being, if you allow it…..It is so hard to let go because you’re continually living with the fear of losing them…..They say that we don’t have the power to get our loved ones sober….IT’S AN INSIDE JOB……

But that doesn’t mean that we won’t give it our best shot….Sometimes our best shot entails the loss of money…the loss of sleep….health problems…..Heartache….bloodshed and the list goes on….But we are engineered to NEVER give up……Love is such a deep rooted human emotion….It’s powerful enough to drive men and women insane…..

EVERYONE PLS RT

Please don't die.....I love you with all my heart! Click to Tweet

 

manupliation

However, I know from personal experience that the addict mindset thrives on manipulation….Especially with the ones that love us the most…..WE WILL USE YOUR LOVE AGAINST YOU…..WE WILL TAKE FULL ADVANTAGE OF YOUR UNCONDITIONAL LOVE……

But on the other hand we don’t want to hurt you…..We don’t have a choice….If you’re anything like me you lost the power to choose whether or not you were going to use……But now that I’m sober the shoe is on the other foot….Now i know what it’s like to love someone who’s actively using and let me tell you…..It’s devastating!!!

no power

You are POWERLESS OVER YOUR LOVED ONES…..And that’s a tough pill to swallow……The only sane thing to do is let them go…..Let them find their bottom…..Stop catching them as they fall…..Sounds easier said than done right???

IT’S SO HARD!!! Now we have the threat of overdose at an all time high…..This well known fact makes the process even harder……In order for an addict to find long term recovery they must hit a serious bottom…The only problem is that some of their bottoms are death……Some of them don’t get sober……

Oh God Please Help Em…

kitty praying

And every night before i go to bed i beg God to please spare my loved one…..Please let them find peace and contentment…..Please let them live long, happy, prosperous lives……Addiction is very real….but so is recovery…..If you or a loved one is suffering from alcoholism or drug addiction please reach out…..please find us because there is a solution…..

way-out-there_2666_l

WE HAVE FOUND A WAY OUT……it’s time to band together as a nation and take our husbands, wives, sons, brothers, sisters, daughters and children back from the streets…..God is working through a lot of us who’ve found freedom..

I HOPE YOU FIND US…..I HOPE YOU FIND PEACE…..I HOPE YOU FIND RECOVERY…..I HOPE YOU FIND HAPPINESS…..I HOPE YOU FIND LIFE!!!!!!

Rich Walters

Rich Walters SFYB Senior Editor/Author

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Not Relevant – I Just Think Its A Cool Vid And I Need Coffee. Many thanks to Joanne and a special shout out to Denise who inspired me this morning. Alpha male brain likes the laced dress, coal blowing hot rod and the dude’s glasses. The House of the Rising Sun is one of my Fav songs.

 

This is to my friend Joe Nester for all his help @ the Toy’s for Tot’s Run –  Because of PPL like you Joe thousands of kids got toy’s this Christmas… Thanks Joe

Jenna Nichole Thanks For Playing @ The Reliance Open House I Appreciate You @R

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