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alph-dogThe Movie Alpha Dog

What makes some give up & others the drive to change the world?
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SFYB Author

Has anyone seen the movie Alpha Dog? If not it’s a true story in which a young hard core addict owes his dealer $1200 . So the dealer kidnaps the guys little brother. He is seen by 39 people while being held. Actually developing what the 15yr old thought were friendships. They took him all over the place. The guy watching him keeps giving him the chance to escape.

The teen decides to stay so that his brother won’t get in any more trouble & he knows his brother will pay it. When the brother refuses to pay off his debt the dealer orders the child’s death. They make him hike up a hill to where his grave is already dug, they blindfold & bind him, slam him in the back of the head w a shovel & then shoot him. They close in the end of the movie w the Mom, who was beautiful, thin & young before this happened, now blown up, unkempt woman in a psych ward.

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She is a complete wreck, her son died for $1200,because his brother wouldn’t tell them what was really going on. I’ve seen this movie a million times, as sad as it is, I like the actors. I watched it a few weeks ago, now w a new perception of the ending.
As the mother gives her side of the story you realize she’s institutionalized, & she slips into madness. Watching this I realized as it hit me like a brick; that could’ve so easily been me. I could’ve made different choices.

That first night I had been awake since the previous morning so approximately 36 hrs w no sleep, while I was walking along the highway trying to burn energy. My gaze kept going from the skies to the huge trucks that kept passing, if my son had faced death, there was no reason why I couldn’t do the same. But I didn’t do it.

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On Monday, I was complaining to my husband that there’d been no response from God yet. Yes, I really thought I should’ve had my sign already. So he tells me to watch my bird feeders for a new bird because he knows Anthony & I used to watch the birds at our feeders in the mornings when he was young. I need to interject at this point, I had been awake for all but 2hrs of sleep since that Saturday morning til Monday night. I could not keep anything at all in my body. I was violently ill from everywhere. I was also sickly & so weak previous to this.

I got another 2hrs Monday night, actually early Tues morning & went to have my tea & *down swooped my very first wild bald eagle as it soared over the lake along the surface, I knew immediately that was my sign. When I talked to my daughter later that day, she said “omg, mom. We were out for a ride yesterday & there was an eagle over the car”…… 1200 miles away. On Wednesday my 6yr old grandson (Anthony’s son) saw it at his bus stop & on Wednesday Ant’s gf saw it 20 miles from where my daughter & grandson were.

That solidified my belief in God. I was still sick, I was getting calls from MA, forcing me to attend the wake & funeral. I had no money & my ex assured me his family was covering all expenses. I was so grateful for that. There was no way I could’ve paid, & definitely not my ex. But I was harassed by my ex’s sister, telling me how bad I looked to everyone & what a shitty person I was. I was so sick & dehydrated, but I had to go. On Tuesday & Wednesday. I repented all of my sins & forgave everyone I felt had ever wronged me. This great big weight was lifted from my shoulders that I no longer felt, it had been there so long. I made personal apologies to everyone, but most choose to not be in my life & that’s 100% OK w me. I needed to do that to move on.

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On Thursday I flew “home” to Mass, because I still could keep nothing down or in, I collapsed in the airport trying to get to my connecting flight. I had to be cleared by the EMT’s to fly on. I got into town w 3 hours to spare. Sick to be in my house 25’ from my backyard in MA is the cemetery. I coincidentally had met my son in the cemetery just before I moved. It was me, his sister, his son & his nephew. That’s the last time I saw him alive & when we parted ways it was w an I Love You from all of us to all of us. I was OK not attending these forced services I had no hand in arranging & so I just followed what had been set up. The first sight of my son’s body hit me like bricks dropped from a skyscraper & I dropped to my knees. I had a lot of family support, my aunt & cousins I hadn’t seen in yrs, my brother, my sister-in-law, close friends. It was a very large turnout.

My son lay there for all of those there to see, dead at 25.They cried the tears, they appeared to mourn. Yet the shit that took place, was so typical for that small dirty evil town. No one cared while he was alive, he was called names, ignored by the family & just never important to them.

Ant’s cousin is , who is also rumored to be on Heroin, did a deal at the wake. My ex was trying to score percocet for himself & Ant’s gf who was at that point 4 days into withdrawal. He was also trying to take her mother home w him, since his own girlfriend had to put her 3yr old to bed.

The “best” part of the night though for me was when I had gone outside looking for a friend & was told that this drunk “relative”, you know the type, mom’s friend ends up family. She didn’t know me or my ex & she most definitely did not know my son. She caused a scene in front of his casket, then progressed to driving by the funeral home & swearing & sticking up her middle finger. When I came out she had parked just a house up from us. I approached her & asked her to leave. She went crazy & tried to storm the funeral home. I had to have the police called.

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His service the next afternoon was beautiful I had decided I did not want to see him lowered into the ground, but tongues immediately began wagging, horrible mother, mean, evil, crazy.

Call me what you want I had already had my good bye in that cemetery in March. That is how I choose to remember my son. My ex’s family had everything removed from his plot….. Granite edging, toys I had put there from Aiden, trinkets, the money. Gofundme was set up & money taken by an aunt, an education fund set up, that has never been mentioned again. Everything my son owned that should have gone to my grandson was whisked away & hidden by my daughter & ex.

I left MA w no regrets that I would be away from the hellish drama. Florida is home now. I lay down to try & get some sleep, on the night that marked a week, Sunday. I lay down exhausted & closed my eyes.
That was the moment God took over!!!

Now back to Alpha Dog & that poor mother, some of us get the shit beaten out of us & just stay down. Not me, I have prayed for mental breakdown, it would certainly explain my experiences a whole lot easier. But, that is not what I am made of & God knew this when he healed me & gave me the ideas, the motivation, the drive & passion, to put it all out there. To dedicate myself to helping others & trying to change addiction/recovery stigma. This girl is on fire!!!
Thank you
Erin Berndt

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SFYB Contributing Author “FUBAR” Best stuff in the hood brother

A Day in the Life of a Crack Dealer. Think about this for a while… Stop being so dam stupid. Be Smart. You have a choice. VOTE: While You Still Can! Donald Trump?

A Day in the Life of a Crack Dealer

A Day in the Life of a Crack Dealer – Symptoms of Poor Leadership in America

StopFryingYourBrain.com becoming most viewed Substance Abuse sites in the nation click here and learn more.
Other relevant articles are: (click links below to review)
  1. Addiction a disease? Or Learned Behavior? (*****)
  2. Is addiction an illness or a crime? (***)
  3. The most important lesson from 83,000 brain scans (****)
  4. Exposing the FDA
  5. Pharma’s Big Secret 
  6. Big Pharma Now Harvesting Your Children for Profit
  7. Is Your Doctor Crazy? Or Is There a Pattern Here?
  8. Flakka coming to your neighborhood – what the hell is Flakka?
  9. Bath Salts arrive on the scene and how they affect your brain
  10. Bath Salts nothing to smile about
  11. Stop Frying Your Brain On Bath Salts
  12. 10 of the deadliest drugs
  13. Heroin The Deadliest Drug Everything You Wanted to Know but Were Afraid to Ask…
  14. Your brain on addiction
  15. Vicodin A Sweet Seductive Time Bomb
  16. Heroine Floods the News for the United States
  17. Criminalizing Mental Health in America
  18. US Government Turning Veterans Into Drug Addicts
  19. Veterans Being Pumped Full of Addictive Opiates
  20. PTSD help for veterans
  21. Opiate Addiction: When Normal No Longer Feels Normal
  22. Prescription Drug Abuse and Deadly Xanax
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The slums is a beautiful place for someone like me. These abandoned gutters and lost souls that vaca such an area of opportunity for dope slangin. I flipped the script on the 50 and the 9 to 5ers, and I bank. Having the keys to the candy store gives me my own personal supply.

Sure I could bitch and cuss about being beat down, shot, robbed, lied to, stabbed, but I never felt less judged being in a place like a crack house. That’s where I lived most of my life… home to me bro. I actually feel safe here.

You think you have it bad? I dodge bullets going to work. The local gang down the street just as soon shoot me, it’s all about turf and dollars dude. That’s my pink slip.

So Donald Trump eat me. 🙂 I hope you get elected and fire them idiots in charge. That’s if you can figure out who is actually in charge. I know I can’t. They stand up there and say one thing, get elected and do something else all together. Depending on who gave them the most money. Corporate Congress I say..

Donald Trump for President

Donald Trump for President – No More Mr Nice Guy… Make America Strong Again

OBama you don’t know the game, you got the rules missin.  Trying to convince the fools this addiction is a disease, so you can stack the benjamins and the insurance companies pay. I’m on the scene major and front row, VIP in the dirt you want to forget about. I don’t think addiction is a disease. 

This is a Cash Game on the street feeding cheese in Rat Park, I’m not the playa, I in the game, and they always come back. Just like the big insurance companies depend on. I learned the trade from them. Land of the free but mandatory insurance? Sounds like Hitler to me.

Dam I’m just a country boy from Kentucky how I ended up here I’m not sure. Watch my favored song and learn about me….. This song says it all. I can’t believe I got shot over this.
I earned my right (payed in blood) for my opinion so take a second of your day is all I ask. I paid for your freedom the hard way… please give me a second of your time and hear my perspective.

I didn’t screw up all these people lives I just help them forget. I mean down here in the hood we don’t have any options no jobs, no future. Hopelessness rules the day. Its pure pain not to be able to provide for the kids. It eats at you and messes with your head in a way I can’t explain. .

Our politicians packed our jobs and companies up and sent them to China. All that’s left is a sea of despair. Sold us out. We don’t make nothing in this country anymore  Either sling crack rock or become a basketball star and we all know that white boys can’t jump. The government did teach me how to dodge bullets until one day, but that’s yet another story..I’ll save for later. Got screwed again.

You never feel alone for a friend with a fix is never one to be missed. I question my perspective on the crack candy I sell.

Am I the one to blame or did these people seek to kill their pain? You see I’m not evil I’m just trying to eat and make a living man. I don’t have any choice. Who’s going to hire me with a possession charge?  I don’t seem to have any options. Can’t believe I’m still alive. 

It’s like this dude, after corporate Congress and all of our fine outstanding politicians finishes screwing the citizens out of everything they own, they show up on my doorstep hurting.

When your hungry the first thing to go is your morals. Your going to eat dude. I’m trapped in this mess with the rest of them. Hell I didn’t invent this shit, the big drug companies did. They were hired by the government I understand for war many years ago. Where do you think these drugs originated from in the 1st place? R&D on your kids returning from Nam. That’s where. Your flesh and blood.

Donald Trump for President - No More Mr Nice Guy..

Donald Trump for President – No More Mr Nice Guy..

Crack is the drug of choice for me because it helps me forget my miserable life and the pain that I live in as I watch my mother go out the door with the new John.

Something happened to my head in Nam when I caught my first bullet after verifying the body count. They say I got a duel case of PTSD and some other thing? Don’t really understand it. 

I don’t know how I caught it because always wore a rubber with the gook chicks, think it had something to do with counting the pile of dead bodies every day and then come across one of my friends. That was the day it happened.

Yea…That bent my head for good. Does anybody even remember what that shit was all about? I know for one thing for sure… I haven’t a clue anymore. (Still Frying My Brain) I hear we won? What a joke. We haven’t won anything I can remember. Liers.. 

Crack cocaine rocks packaged for sale

Crack cocaine rocks packaged for sale

It is like they smell it, they become super dogs. Once they gets a taste they have a sixth sense for it.Reminds me of the horror show. The walking dead. But, they are not addicted because I supply this stuff.

Their own demons eat them alive and I just happen to have a remedy for the pain and sorrow created by the fine mess of our leadership of this country. I understand, in the same boat myself. 

The question is, if this is a learned behavior or a real disease? How can we make it public that it can be unlearned. Your drop science says to be learned is to repeat actions that leads to changes based on practice or experience. I’m pretty sure its not a disease. I wasn’t board a crack head. I was at one time a full functioning human.

Most of the crack addicts I know were not born a crack head. When they got hurt enough they started looking for relief. If not crack, then something else. Many times they just stop when the pain of being a crackhead becomes too much. The experts say this is rock bottom. It’s about pain and social disfunction I say. If its a disease its a self inflected one. 

I wake up, throw on the clothes on my floor from the night before, look in the mirror and question if  this games gonna kill me. I personally don’t know any old crack dealers. Where do they go? I roll picking up my supply for the week, cheapest way is to get a kilo and cook it up and cut it with a little bit of shit. I can’t raise the price after the fools are addicted like the legal drug companies do so I have to cut it to get my margins up. A little bit about that later.

Donald Trump for President - No More Mr Nice Guy..

Donald Trump for President – No More Mr Nice Guy – Endorsement by the boys in the hood & The United Federation of Crack Dealers of America 🙂 Now that’s funny.

I converse with my ace, he is like family to me. Running through my head is selling what I am given and what bitch is going to hang with me for the day. I enjoy the company, talking and negotiating. But it isn’t much of a life. At least I can keep a roof over my head and have learned to appreciate a big Mac and that’s on a good day dog. And of course the system wants to paint a big red X on my back lock me up. I don’t think I’ll ever happen.

Spitting with my fellow crackheads, I hear all their stories.  How messed up their lives have been since they were shorties. They lived in the fallen areas of society forgotten by the government with drug attics, alcoholics, and been abused in ways yall never understand after the corporations and politicians finished harvesting for a profit. They are doing the same thing to the land too. Do you know who OWNS the gran canyon? Not americans… Dhaaa think about that. They done pawned that to. Google it.

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What disease is this? Self inflicted? I think not. Addiction is?  These repeated actions of getting screwed lead people to becoming addicted seeking no more pain because they have a problem bigger than them.

They were skooled to become an addict by the great leadership of this country.selling off our livelihood. Just where would I be able to get a job anyway? The NSA (maybe). Well nope not happening in this country anymore. Now they want to lock me up because I need to eat. They sold my job so now I’m screwed.

Dog I’m telling you we’ve ALL been screwed this country is going down the toilet. So if you despise me just remember one day in the near future you’ll probably be really happy to see me too. Just remember big brother is watching you dog.Soon you’ll have a big red x on your back. Smart phones they say.

Testing-Prisoner-in-Cell

The played hoes lay half-dressed on the couch enjoying their easy living and free fix. I spit at them for a minute to see if I wanna hit it. Gotta be careful cause the money brings bitches and the bitches bring lies. I can’t get caught between the bitches, my steel, and my chips. There’s a big idea of respect coming into houses like these. What is in here is theirs, unless you pay the right price. That goes for the woman too.

Italy-Hookers-Drugs

I got busta, hoes, and the 50 watchin. I pack steel and roll deep. I never know if I will get bum rushed, walkin out of those doors and have a piece held to my chest, or a knife to my throat. Is it the smack, or the stacks of cash?  Nobody cares unless you be pretty, or dying, never about the process in between which is where I see myself as I walk out of this dope house once again. I’ll be back, hopefully. I know that one day soon I probably won’t.

You don’t need to be a rocket scientist to figure out what causes addiction. You can learn a lot from a crack head and let me tell you i’m an expert. I think they have it all wrong. These guys nailed it. Watch the clip below

Click below you can learn a lot from a dummy.. Especially a crack head. Below is the results of the problem. Take the the time to understand where these people are coming from.

No more of this crap

Its because of guys like this your children have a better chance of an overdose than getting in an auto accident. Read more

Are you a victim of the WAR on drugs? Read More 

The plan to destroy America Read More

US banks are laundering drug money for these same cartels Read More

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Big Pharma’s #1 Secretsecret

StopFryingYourBrain.com becoming most viewed Substance Abuse sites in the nation click here and learn more.

 

This is a very interesting clip. It presents an alternative view to mainstream thinking as the world is constantly changing around us. Current day evidence suggest this clip has a lot of validity as the number of unnecessary prescriptions has increased over 1000% in the last 50 years. A fact that’s undisputed. 

Clips like “big pharma” is now harvesting your children for profit Click Here suggest a pattern much like the doctors that supported the tobacco industries position in the late 70’s. (we all know how that ended).

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What’s even more remarkable, as the clip was presented in the various professional groups on Linkedin, some of these doctors have attempted to flag the clip as spam in a feeble attempt to control the message.

It is our belief actions like these only demonstrate that the content and the message is right on target and the doctors engaged in such actions are part of the challenge. I am NOT suggesting All doctors are bad… both good and bad in all professions. Just consider how professionals react is a pretty good indication of what you are dealing with.

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As publishers we suggest watching the companion clip Click Here  and the clip about the FDA being exposed is very well viewed. Click Here. You’ll find all these clips have over a million views and are pretty relevant to the debate. 

Lastly, the fact your child has a better chance being killed from a Heroin overdose than in an auto accident is of real concern. Click Here

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When someone talk about the long-term consequences of war, let’s talk about the men and women who came home from war,nThe 500,000 who came home with PTSD and traumatic brain injury. We hope that in the midst of all of this discussion this country makes certain that we do not turn our backs on the men and women who put their lives on the line to defend us.

The U.S Department of Veterans Affairs estimates that between 11 and 20 percent of veterans from Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom (Afghanistan) have PTSD in a given year. As of late 2014, about 2.7 million troops had served in Iraq or Afghanistan. That’s a wide range: 11 percent of 2.7 million is 297,000; 20 percent is 540,000.

 U.S. Senate resolution identifies “more than 390,000” cases of PTSD among veterans of Operation Enduring Freedom, Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation New Dawn in Afghanistan, citing the secretary of Veterans Affairs as its source.

Those figures only account for PTSD, not traumatic brain injury, or TBI, which Sanders also referenced.

2013 Congressional Research Service paper on traumatic brain injury found that almost 57,000 Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom veterans were evaluated or treated for “a condition possibly related to TBI” by the VA.

That number is slippery though. It’s not clear that all of those nearly 57,000 actually received a TBI diagnosis, and it doesn’t account for the potentially thousands more veterans who experienced a traumatic brain injury but did not receive care through the VA.

The VA also estimates that brain injuries account for 22 percent of all combat casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan.

The Defense Department, meanwhile, identifies 333,169 instances of traumatic brain injury among service members between 2000 and 2015. That’s a big number, but there are some caveats that come with it: It includes all U.S. forces, not just those deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, and is overwhelmingly comprised of concussions and “mild TBI” that by definition lasts less than 24 hours.

Also worth noting: that same U.S. Senate resolution noting 390,000 PTSD cases also references “more than 615,000” veterans of recent conflicts who have been diagnosed with “at least 1 mental health disorder.”

Disabled veterans use baking to work through PTSD symptoms

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  • Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation (Patient Intake) Hazelden Betty Ford Foundation (Patient Intake)
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  • Erinkberndt Author My name is Erin Berndt & im 46 yrs old I am married to my soul mate, Fedor. I have 2 children Dacia & Anthony from my ex husband who I spent 22...
  • American Society of Addiction Medicine Facts and Figures Opioid Addiction • Opioids are a class of drugs that include the illicit drug heroin as well as the licit prescription pain relievers oxycodone, hydrocodone, codeine, morphine,...
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  • Beware of “Blackout Wednesday” By: Allie Holbrook Thanksgiving.  A day for gratitude, but also a time of excess.  Tables groan with turkey and pumpkin pie, wine flows freely, and there’s a sense that nothing bad...
  • Hope Without Handcuffs @StopFryingBrain By: Robert Henslee SFYB Founder To all my brothers and sisters I would like to introduce you to Hope Without Handcuffs. Working with law enforcement across the nation, great organizations like Families...
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  • You’re too Stupid To Figure Out What’s Fake News and What’s Not…. Alex Jones breaks down the vast web of lies the media continues to spin in order to discredit Donald Trump, after he has...
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  • We are an “organic” social media community marketing content model. Come join our marketing effort today!  StopfryingYourBrain.com becoming one of the most viewed Substance Abuse sites in the nation. Learn why below we are a...
  • 5 Signs of Addiction for Seniors Other relevant articles you may be interested in; 1) Opiate Dependence among the Elderly 2) Elderly Addicted to Opiates 3) 5 Signs of Addiction for Seniors 4) Things Are...
  • Addiction a Disease? Or Learned Behavior? StopFryingYourBrain.com becoming most viewed Substance Abuse sites in the nation click here and learn more. Yo big dogs listen up. My name is “FUBAR”. If you don’t know what that means...
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  • What is Addiction Really, and How do We Fix it? MD Lukens, PhD  © May, 2016 The Disease Model is Not Well Constructed To start this discussion off I need to repeat what I’ve been...
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  • First Responders having Addiction Training My name is TJ McWain and I am a police officer in Southern New Jersey.  As a police officer, I come into contact with substance abusers on a daily basis...
  • Fort Lauderdale and Atlantic Shores Hospitals would like to extend our hand We at Fort Lauderdale and Atlantic Shores Hospitals would like to extend our hand in helping you and your patients receive the best...
  • Treating Post-Acute Withdrawal Symptoms Dr. Cali Estes, of The Addictions Academy, has teamed up with Dr. Kenneth Blum, creator of Synaptamine to provide a new class that focuses on Reward Deficiency Syndrome and Post Acute...
  • CBD Oil Now Legal In All 50 States Strains of Marijuana that are Most Effective to Detox a Client from Opiates Strains of Marijuana that are most effective to detox a client from Opiates and...
  • Stop Patient Brokering In Your Facility Cold The Addictions Academy announced that they are offering a class to combat the rampant patient brokering going on in the addiction treatment industry. Dr. Cali Estes, of The...
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  • Great FB Groups @ Pages For Addiction I’ve been working with the best support people/groups in the addiction vertical on Facebook for a number of years now. All the groups (below) are some of the...
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  • Patient Brokering Kickbacks Lawsuits and Jail… Are You Next? If you have a facility/practice you need to look at this. Click on the posts to read articles. ..
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  • Exposing the FDA StopFryingYourBrain.com becoming most viewed Substance Abuse sites in the nation click here and learn more. There is also an excellent companion clip to this one which may be found by clicking here Wa...
  • Got Empty Beds at Your Facility? Updates and more discussion on this topic please join our FaceBook Group by clicking on image below. StopFryingYourBrain.com one of the most viewed Substance Abuse sites in the nation click...
  • Stop Frying Your Brain Our Capabilities Please join our network of over 250 facility operators ! stopfryingyourbrain.com one of the most viewed Substance Abuse sites in the nation click here to learn more Do you...
  • Lost In Limbo? Hey if you need a friend and some help reach out to me Robert @ 772.206.6676 If you’re a service provider and wish to become a member of our network call John...
  • Is Your Landlord Partially Responsible for Your Relapse? This website is becoming the most visited substance abuse site in the nation. Click here to learn more I saw an article on allergy testing as it...
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  • stopfryingyourbrain.com one of the most viewed Substance Abuse sites in the nation click here to learn more When someone talk about the long-term consequences of war, let’s talk about the men and women who came...
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  • Faith in Recovery  Click image below to visit our FB page
  • Faith in recovery USA Connections Welcome to United Churches Against Addiction. We consist of many subchapters. Currently we have two active subchapters, Faith in Recovery UK, Faith In Recovery USA. This is the USA subchapter....
  • Faith in recovery UK Connections Welcome to United Churches Against Addiction is a one stop shop providing support for people struggling with addictions by connecting them with local churches and quality specialised groups and centres suited...
  • United Churches Against Addiction – UCAA Welcome to United Churches Against Addiction. United churches against addiction is the parent organization of churches around the world whose purpose is to share resources and information with those...
  • Humbly United Brave souls are we who have waged a great war within ourselves and emerged victorious upon surrender, this is the axiom for which we lay a foundation that will bear the weight of...

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