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Enable me Not

Everyone who ever picked me up and dusted me off along the way only increased the amount of times I fell, those who attempted to protect me from the depths my addiction needed to fall may have played a hand in how long it took to reach a sufficient enough bottom.
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John SFYB Admin/Outreach

Scraping along and hovering just above complete defeat is just as demoralizing as the absolute zero finally obtain, sparing me from a certain death and allowing recovery to begin.

This isn’t an attempt to shift the blame for my addiction onto my enablers, I was an addict regardless of their efforts or existence and honestly it was my manipulation that kept them from turning their backs and letting me drop out. Turning someone’s love into a weapon against them is one of the trade crafts of addiction and is our means of spreading the sickness to all we encounter. They become quite spiritually ill and at some point, may even be dependent on our illness as a sense of purpose almost unconsciously playing a part in relapses and without knowing possibly our deaths. You can’t soften the blows without increasing how many we’ll take.

This isn’t phenomenon, it isn’t rare and isn’t wrong as it starts and is rooted in the very beauty of being human. We love and take on the role of caregiver sometimes unwittingly yet when matched against the formidable foe of addiction this base instinct to care for one another becomes corrupted and perpetuates the disease.

The insidious nature of this illness moves through society like any other outbreak yet the symptoms are not only seen in those afflicted directly, there are those too who we encounter and break in our own special way.

There does exist a means of treating this spiritual bankruptcy yet the antidote has no effect until a crash landing upon an individual bottom is reached. What that bottom may look like is varied from addict to addict, from the soccer mom who misses her pick up to the homeless man who picks his dinner from the dumpster, we all face our own scenario. The one thing that rings true is there is nothing, absolutely nothing that you can do to cure or fix us and being user’s, we will use you up if you try.

Our cries for help are sincere, we not only want it but we need it yet self-centered and selfish to the core of our disorder we don’t see the affect our pain and suffering has upon you.

It is impossible for us to sympathize and show you empathy as we are consumed by the bondage of self that embodies our addiction. Somewhere along the way and not knowing exactly where we cross over the invisible line and put ourselves beyond the power of choice and far from the reach of human aid, the relentless persistence of self-destruction and cycle of abuse has begun.

Spiraling towards an unknown depth brings about a polarizing fear by which blinds us to our impact on those who we hurt along the way, if you reach out to help us with material solution we will take it and squander it as there is no solution of that means sufficient enough to stop this dissent. Recovery can’t be bought or sold and has no requirements for a beginning other than we begin at a place of surrender that you cannot provide, it must come from within.

Drawing from my own experience, blessed with a loving family that cared for me to no end and having a way with words, I could manipulate and manufacture a reason to take relentlessly as though the aide they provided was my privilege.

The sober alcoholic father and his personal struggle and subsequent recovery from a seemingly hopeless state of body and mind became my habit’s greatest resource. The disease we shared and the gift of recovery he found while my mother was pregnant with combined with the love of a father for his son made for the ultimate weapon when used by this dope fiend as I turned that all against him.

Today I can’t imagine what that must feel like, knowing full well he financed and fueled my using all the while praying for me to hit a bottom that he may have played a part in my resistance. Not his enabling nor his disease made me an addict and I fault him not for the support he gave me regardless of how ineffective it was, I recognize that my illness kept him sick as well. This wasn’t isolated to solely my parents, anyone fool enough to fall for my nonsense from employer to whatever hostage like relationship I had talked my way into was another means of keeping myself from the dreadful thought of going without.

The single greatest enemy I faced was always me and it didn’t matter how much aide, support, love or concern you threw my way I would always draw it up and inject it.

Nothing was held sacred in my active addiction and not a damn thing I said should have been trusted no matter how much I appeared to believe it. The quandary them who held me so dear faced when proposed with the pain of watching me destroy myself or coming to my rescue was a fabrication and elaborate rouse this disease displayed to make you believe those were two separate things.

The fact is I was going down in flame regardless of how your efforts may have prolonged the actual crash landing, it was an inevitability that hardly any man, woman or child had the ability to help me avoid. The could of, would of or should of show I ran through my head on the regular has ended, the fat lady sang her last song and I finally faced the music alone in world where your never far from anyone else the isolation was a cell within my mind. Not the shame or guilt of how I had been brought me to my knees but rather a feeling of loneliness I shudder to describe.

With each self-centered thought and action I took the walls of my mind closed in on me bringing about a sense of being alone regardless of the proximity of other people. Surrounded by that loving and amazing family with my own child in my arms and still I felt all by myself. It was this feeling, not the external circumstances that pushed me hardest to find a solution, it is this feeling that today keeps me striving to recover.

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Stop Frying Your Brain song kept rattling around in my head after visiting their website. It was worse than it’s a small world at Disneyland. Eventually… I would hook up with those guys and it’s all because of that one stupid song.

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Tap Into You – Do You Believe???????

How many times in our lives have we not done something simply because we didn’t believe in ourselves, simply because we didn’t think we were deserving or worthy, simply because we was afraid that we would fail?

Raymond Kyle

Founder Warrior Foundation.


The answer to that question is easy, too many times we have used these excuses to avoid doing something cause of fear, doubt, or uncertainty. The thought of failure for many of us is a looming distraction that ultimately keeps us from achieving the greatness that each one of us was created to be.

 

 

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We cannot tap into our full potential and we cannot be the Kings and Queens we were created to be by continuing to allow society, or another individual to tell us who we are and what we can or cannot do. We must face our fears, no matter how hard it may be it’s vital to our growth. We must overcome the doubt, and stop putting limits on ourselves and what we are capable of. We must quit allowing outside forces to define who we are, we are good enough, smart enough,pretty enough, and deserving of the life we are striving to live.

It is my challenge to you to begin tapping into your full potential each and every day. Show no mercy. Hold back nothing. Step into greatness where you were born to be. God bless you my friends.

 

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Raymond Kyle

Founder Warrior Foundation.

Many people have many different reasons as to how and why they began a process of healing and recovery. You ask 100 different people you may get the same answers but in 100 different ways. Any of us that are in this process knows the only way it’s possible is with God.

I know some don’t believe in God and it still works for them. Well you right, they may not believe in God as I myself and you may understand him, but you have to believe in something bigger than yourself, your higher power of your own understanding. Whatever works for you then do it.

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I know In my process until I allowed God to direct me and lead me I was still lost. Yes I was better and yes I was making progress but I had stalled cause I too thought I could do it all by myself. I couldn’t and it’s by the grace of God that I am here today and still working my process.

If you haven’t done so already it’s time to find what God’s purpose is for your life. Not our own but God’s. When we find this and begin to work it then that’s when the true blessings come. God is the only way we make it thru a lot of our days. When we think there is no way he creates one. Let God lead you in your process you can’t go wrong.

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A Journey Through My Mind

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Raymond Kyle

Founder Warrior Foundation.

Allow me to take you on a journey thru my mind, a place many have wanted to go, some have had the chance, and very few could actually handle. Let me take you to a place that’s unknown to your eyes, but once you open them and I mean open them from your soul, then I can show you a world that you would soon learn to love, if only you was to give it a chance.

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See my mind runs a hundred miles an hour, always thinking of ways to be different and unique, showing my intellect and intelligence, and inspiration to those who may need me. That is what makes me who I am and that is why I am so proud of who I am. My story is a story that is told by he that lives within my soul, he that was once so lonely and lost by his own mistakes and choices.

Llanwrst, Conwy, Wales

But now he has opened his eyes to his soul to see the beauty that lies within and has come to understand the greatness he was blessed with from his birth. He has let his flowers blossom instead of pulling his mind and body and soul with things of the world that for so long controlled who he was. Over time he has become a better man, a man that he can be proud of, the man he was so intended to be. Every day still working on his life and on his self to be better and to do better with his life.

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So do you understand what I am saying? We all take chances in life, we all make mistakes. Sometimes before we know it we are blinded by our own self, trying to understand life and our reason for living.

Nobody controls our destiny in this world but ourselves. Life is what we make it by the choice we each choose to make. Every choice has consequences and repercussions no matter good or bad. We all must answer for the choices we choose to make and be held accountable. None of us is perfect, and we never will be, but we must all strive to be better and learn from our mistakes. Sometimes you may end up paying for choices we made for the rest of our live, but that does not mean that we cannot keep bettering ourselves or helping others better themselves for true LOVE has no limits.

We all can make a list of reasons we could give up, but many of us choose not to. Why? Cause we all have more reasons not too. Life is sometimes hard, this I do know all too well. I also know that it will probably get worse before It gets better, but I know that each one of us is capable of fighting thru all ND making it thru.

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Today you stop feeling sorry for yourself, you stand up, you shake it off and you decide that you are going to be the man and woman, the king and queen that you know you are. Don’t give up and waste your life. Love yourself, love yourself enough to help yourself and to make the right choices in life. Ladies you are a queen and a queen you shall always be. Men, you are kings and kings you shall always be. Claim it, live it, love it.

Just remember when life throws you a loop and it seems like nobody loves you or cares God does and I do. God loves us every day, all day, every second or every day. He never takes a day off. God bless you as you continue your journey.

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Katie Donovan

 Katie Donovan Non-Profit Staff Reporter Staff Author

My Daughter the Addict – A Suburban Mom’s Nightmare @StopFryingBrain

By: Katie Donovan

I was the PTO mom, the carpool mom, the Brownie leader. We ate family dinners at the table, taught our children manners and took family vacations. My husband and I were blessed to have very good jobs. My daughter, Brittany, the beautiful girl in the photo, was the honor roll student, the volunteer at the city parks and recreation department and loved playing sports.

 Other relevant posts by this author:
(1) My Daughter the Addict-A Suburban Mom’s Nightmare
(2) Families Against Narcotics Announces Run Drugs out of Town Event
(3) No One Brings you Casseroles when you Child is an Addict
(4) Katie Donovan Named Executive Vice President of Families Against Narcotics

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My Daughter the Addict-A Suburban Mom’s Nightmare Click to Tweet
THEN OUR ENTIRE LIVES CHANGED

Growing up, I had skewed images of what a heroin addict looked like. I envisioned them sitting in an ally, or a gangster or a criminal. The stereotypical hippie from the 60’s and 70’s that grew up in a bad home. I had preconceived notions that you had to stay away from them…that they were

BAD PEOPLE.
NEVER ONCE DID I ENVISION MY DAUGHTER.

 I am very ashamed of my thoughts now. I never really had a “real” exposure to addiction. What I saw was what was pictured in the movies, or on TV. We lived in the suburbs where “that just didn’t happen around here”.

BOY WAS I WRONG

 Now, addiction has a multitude of faces. It’s the high school quarterback who became injured in a game, was prescribed Vicodin and became addicted.

It’s the mom down the street from you, driving her minivan to CVS to pick up more pills, even though she just finished a 30-day supply in 10 days.

It’s the babysitter who went to a party and didn’t drink, as mom and dad properly told her the dangers of it. So she took a few pills instead.

It’s the heroic marine who fought in the Gulf War, who is now fighting PTSD.

It’s the corporate executive who was prescribed Xanax for stress.

It’s the senior citizen who had hip surgery and within weeks, unknowingly was now dependent on prescription narcotics.

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IT’S MY DAUGHTER

This is happening in our homes, our communities, our schools!! No one is immune. It affects all classes, races, ages and professions.

GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF THE SAND

If you feel like “it would never happen to you or anyone in your circle”, take a look around. It’s happening. You may not even know it. Most become isolated in fear and lost in their addiction, finding it hard to reach out.

ITS TIME TO SHOW SOME COMPASSION

Recently, as I was walking to my car, I noticed a homeless man hunched over. Instead of walking by him, I stopped and asked him if I could sit down next to him. We talked for a good hour. Turns out he was a marine, who was injured, became addicted to Vicodin and didn’t know how to stop, but wanted to so bad. Swore, he would NEVER do heroin…that’s what junkies do. But then his pills got too expensive and now his body was physically getting sick. He ended up turning to heroin, just to feel normal again. My heart broke for him. I gave him my card and said to call me if he was ever ready for help. He called 2 days later. He is currently at a 6-month treatment facility, fighting for recovery and has renewed hope in life.

As a community, it’s time to come together. These are not “junkies in the corner” …these are our friends, our neighbors, your grandfather, men who fought for our country.

THESE ARE OUR CHILDREN.

Please, don’t’ make assumptions on people. The next time you are walking and see someone homeless, don’t walk past and avert your eyes. Stop and reach out your hand. It was my daughter sitting there once, lost in her addiction and feeling hopeless.

YOU MAY JUST SAVE A LIFE

Katie Donovan, Recovery Advocate

Executive Vice President, Families Against Narcotics

Author of www.amothersaddictionjourney.com

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Mike Downing

Mike Downing Contributing Author

AM I READY FOR A SOBER COACH ?

Five questions to ask yourself…
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Professional Sober Coaching Services

You have done the work. You have completed a rehab program, detoxed yourself or completed an outpatient program. You are ready to apply all the tips and tricks and boundaries you were taught for your “new normal” life. Consider the following five points to determine if you are ready to use a sober coach;

  1. Do I need someone to help me through my friend list in social media and real life? Not only to help with conversations to cull out unhealthy friendships, but to help with establishing new friends outside of the addiction world.
  2. Am I ready to have someone assist me in removing triggers in my environment? Not just throwing out props that fueled my addiction but someone strengthening me as I discover a past hurtful note or picture that needs to be tossed. Someone to hold the trash can as I eliminate bad food, bad ideas and bad habits away that I know will emerge unexpectedly in my home environment.
  3. Do I desire a discreet companion coach as I navigate my first few social engagements as a recovered person? Someone with refined social skills who can encourage me to stay healthy in a potentially tempting situation – whether it be a business meeting, family function or social gathering.
  4. Do I want to be held accountable for my choices? Someone who will be transparent about how I am behaving and provide constructive feedback. Statistics show that it takes an average of ninety days to fully adopt a change. Accountability is an effective tool for success.
  5. Am I financially able to retain a sober coach? Service fees are based on a programs, certification, experience and availability. Rates can vary from $75.00 to $375.00 an hour depending on service and engagement. Daily, weekly or monthly rates are calculated on an hourly rate as well. Retaining a sober coach, companion or chaperone to personally support me during the early stages can run $600.00 to $1,800.00 per day plus expenses. I have just invested a large sum of money on my rehab – am I willing to invest even more to have a trained coach help me construct and frame my new routines and interactions without the fear of relapse?

Professionals agree that the highest percentage of relapse occurs within the first 120 days of implementing a change. Sober coaches are well worth your investment to ongoing success. Unlike sponsors, or sober buddies certified coaches are trained to draw out your strengths and avoid codependency. Competent coaches are trained to follow a strict code of ethics that will govern the coach / client relationship. The coaching method is to get the client back on track within a short period of time.

If you are seriously committed to a healthier lifestyle and interested in getting the best results in the shortest length of time then consider retaining Mike Downing today. Help Has Arrived!

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Allie Holbrook

SFYB Staff Writer

How to Help Friends Who Are Worried About Their Drinking

By: Allie Holbrook

Recently, I wrote a blog post titled, “How to Tell People You’re Sober.”

In it I said most people won’t care. Others will be supportive. And a few will feel threatened by your decision, resent the idea, and try to get you to start drinking again.

After that post was published Christmas rolled around, and it was time for me to “come out” to a number of old friends.

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That’s when I realized there’s another category of reaction. It goes like this: “Wow. I’ve been a bit worried about my…I mean, I’m not an alcoholic or anything, but…tell me more.”

Well, how do you talk to people about what it’s like to be sober? How do you avoid coming off as evangelical, but still convey the message that being sober is a million times more fun, more freeing, and more joyful than drinking?

A-drunk

Don’t Talk in Quantities

When I was still drinking (and actively looking for reasons to stay in denial), I loved when people disclosed their “quantities.”

I devoured alcoholic memoirs. The rockier the better. A litre of Dewars a day? Wow, I could never drink that much. Three bottles of wine? Goodness! Those quantities made my drinking look reasonable.

Of course, the quantity isn’t the point, is it? If you talk about quantities, you shift the focus from what matters (the behavior) to a meaningless measure (the quantity).
STOP ADDICTION ANIMATION

Instead, tell them how you obsessed about alcohol all the time, how exhausting it felt to try and moderate, and the guilt you endured every time you broke your own rules. Those are the things that resonate, whether your friend drinks the same quantity you did or not.

Don’t Tell Them What They Should Do

Getting preachy is a total turnoff. There is no one measure by which you can tell if someone would benefit from sobriety. And there is no one way to approach it. Tell them what you did. Not what they should do.

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Concentrate on the Benefits

There was one thing I said more times this Christmas than any other (apart from “stop fighting with your sister”). It was: “I’m just a million times happier with who I am now.”

Remember, you’re talking to friends. These people don’t want you to shame them. They don’t want to hear they’re putting their health at risk, or their families would be happier if they were sober. They already know that. They just want to hear a message of hope from someone they trust.

Show them how sobriety has improved your life. Demonstrate that truth. All you have to do is be who you were always meant to be.

It’s more than enough.

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T. E. Pepper

SFYB Staff Writer

How to Relate to Normal People When You’re in Recovery

By: T.E. Pepper

Being alcoholics in recovery often introduces us to new communities. Whether that’s AA, another support group, a rehab, or whatever, we will often find ourselves in a community of recovered drunks and addicts. We share a lot of things about surviving addiction, even if we don’t share anything else about ourselves. Living in recovery and having risen from the black gloom of alcoholic hell, we learn a new language and a new way of relating to people with similar experiences to our own.

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Sometimes the people in our lives, who aren’t alcoholics and addicts, don’t understand the new relationships and perspective on life we discover in recovery. How could they? They never understood how and why we drank the way we did. Even the best doctors and shrinks and counselors don’t know how it feels to have cravings. To feel the sense of isolation and compulsion and denial and self-destruction that leads us to drink and use the way we did. They can’t understand that alcohol was the way we treated what felt wrong.

And they can’t understand how our recovery feels and opens up our lives. They don’t understand how it works. Or why it works now, when nothing worked before. That can be frustrating for them and for us.

How to Relate to Normal People When You’re in Recovery

After all, we often feel like we’ve discovered an entirely new way to live. We’ve learned to confront confusion and anxiety and discomfort in new ways. We often wish we could share that with other people in our lives, so they can use the tools we’ve developed to improve their own lives the way we’ve improved ours.

But it doesn’t work that way.

The things we do to recover (embracing honesty, taking inventory, addressing our resentments, making amends) seem like they should help everyone, and everyone should understand how we’ve made a positive difference in our lives using them. But somehow, when we try to explain how it works, we find that normal people (non-alcoholics and non-addicts) just can’t connect to it. They don’t need to do those things to live effective lives, because they don’t sabotage themselves with substance abuse.

It’s OK that normal people don’t understand.

In fact, it’s kind of wonderful. First, it means that they don’t have to suffer the way we’ve suffered before they can lead effective lives. Second, it means we have our own community that belongs to us. We get to share our own experiences among a group that understands. We get to have a place where we can belong, where only we belong. So often in life, before our recovery, we didn’t know where to put ourselves. We felt apart from all the groups we wanted to belong to. Now we have a social circle that accepts us.

How to Relate to Normal People When You’re in Recovery

When we realize there are aspects of our recovering lives normal people are never going to understand, we learn to base our relationships on our commonality. We can use the tools we learned in recovery to relate to anyone, even if they don’t understand how we got where we are now.

 

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lisa

SFYB Staff Writer

How Your Alcoholism Affects Your Teens

By: Lisa

Recently I told my teenagers I have given up alcohol forever.  One didn’t say much and the other spouted out ‘you can’t do it Mum, you like have a bottle of wine a night.”

So there I was, quietly drinking away most nights, thinking I was being super sneaky, hiding it well and they didn’t notice. Ha!

Thank goodness I have given up now before too much more damage can be done.  They are younger rather than older teens.

Not only did they see Mum and Dad drinking on a regular basis, but whenever we went anywhere or friends came to ours, there was ALWAYS alcohol around, ALWAYS.  I even got them to fetch and pour it for us.  Sad!

This was normal in our house, and is normal in most peoples’ homes around the globe I suspect (to varying degrees)

Our kids are growing up thinking this is normal behaviour.  We are seen to drink when we are happy, sad, tired, depressed, cooking dinner, or just because it is the end of the day.

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But ‘do as I say, not as I do’ isn’t going to cut it.  It hasn’t stopped the many generations before us has it?

Did you see this in your home when YOU were growing up?  Did it stop you or encourage your behaviour that you are now struggling with yourself?

Do you remember sneaking alcohol out of the cupboard when your parents weren’t home, or having a swig from their drink when they weren’t looking?  Do you remember trying to buy it underage, or organising someone to buy it for you?

All this was because it was glamorized in the media but at home too as the cool, acceptable thing to do.

So if I may still assume none of us want this nasty addiction for our children and future generations in general, WE have to break the cycle.  Been there, said that already…..

It will be too late if our kids have too much exposure.  But my more pressing concern now is how do we deal with THEIR indiscretions when we have no credibility left?

Recently, as predicted and probably expected, a group of my teen’s friends were caught drinking a bottle of Vodka.  Luckily mine wasn’t there but it would have or will be, only a matter of time.

How can we honestly (with a straight credible face )  believe we have the right to lecture them on alcohol when all we have done is abuse it for decades in front of them?

My teens have already made innocuous comments about their perceptions of alcohol and socialising to me – they think that the two naturally go hand in hand already!  Needless to say I have put them straight, not only by saying but DOING.

LUCKILY FOR US we had a ‘heads up’ when we learned about the Vodka incident.  He had admitted that had he been in that situation with his friends, he would have tried it.  God love him for his honesty.

We bought some Vodka and sat our teen down after dinner one night. Lesson one, don’t drink on an empty stomach!

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We allowed him to taste it straight and of course he hated it.  Then we mixed it with lemonade and of course it was now a sugary dangerous alco-pop.  He needed a gentle lesson in that what he was drinking was the same muck as earlier, just masked with soft drink.  Caveat Emptor, Let the Drinker Beware!

So of course all this stuff will naturally come up as our kids progress into adulthood, but I know we can have a much stronger and credible position to educate them from if we are indeed, practicing what we are preaching.

We have since phoned an Alcohol advice line and been sent a stash of paraphernalia on ‘Alcohol and your kids’.  It has a lot of useful information that we have started discussing as a family – over our plain lemonades of course!

 

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lisa

SFYB Staff Writer

The Day I Finally Realized: Yes, I am an Alcoholic

By: Lisa

I read a Paper the other day from an addiction specialist, and he said he HAS NEVER seen someone give up for good on the very first attempt, NEVER!  So isn’t that reassuring – phew!!  It wasn’t just me that couldn’t do it – personally speaking!

Truth is, I think I had been in a kind of Recovery attempt for two years before going Cold Turkey in August this year.  The phase of Recovery, looking back now was the Therapy sessions I was attending regularly because my kids were feral.  It was all their fault my family was chaotic, how could I ‘tame’ them, and my husband?

During this two years, I had a few attempts at trying to cut down my drinking, only drink on certain days, only have ‘one or two’, only drink spirits instead of wine, you know, the usual ‘chatter’ that goes on!  I didn’t have a problem OF COURSE, I just thought it would be good to cut back.  And the alcoholic word was NEVER to be pinned on ME< get real!  And because I could stop drinking for up to 10 days at a time, that confirmed I didn’t have a problem. Get off my case!!!!

So anyway, the kids’ and husband’s behaviour didn’t bloody well improve with all this expensive counseling.  What was wrong with them all?

The Day I Finally Realized: Yes, I am an Alcoholic

The tensions continued, so I just numbed it all out by drinking, and  then, ….. I may have become ever so slightly belligerent, and then the problems continued, so I drank more, and more often. When will this family of mine change and do what they are supposed to do?  Everything will be ok then !

I had learned a lot of Theory in this two years, and been told about a lot of my issues that I supposedly had.  But it was still mostly everyone else’s fault, they needed to change, not quite ME soooo much.

And then Rock Bottom appeared.  I know Rock Bottom must be different for everyone and I can only akin it to falling ‘in love.’  You ‘know’ when you ‘know’ ……..

Rock Bottom is a pit of evil and despair and you can EITHER, confront it or keep running.

Rock Bottom was my Day One of my new life.  Rock Bottom was when I accepted the label of Alcoholic. Rock Bottom for me was the day when I stopped drinking for good and there was never going to be an option of going back.  That was that, ‘party’ over, shipped sailed.  SEE YA.

You will all experience this in your own way and work through the stages of grief in your own time, but you do need to be patient.  It will not be forced, it has to be genuine and authentic and come from your Soul.  I suspect the rate of relapse will be high if the motivation is not genuine and authentic, and this is part of the journey too.

The Day I Finally Realized: Yes, I am an Alcoholic

After Rock Bottom, I had to quickly go about getting a load of tools to keep me on track. I still use them, and will continue to do so forever I suspect.

Now I am no expert, I only speak from personal experience and from the heart.  So I don’t know for sure whether you have to reach Rock Bottom, but I suspect it is highly likely!  The thing is, Rock Bottom will be SO different for each and every one of us.

It could come in the shape of a broken relationship, the loss of a job, a criminal conviction, self harm, harm to another, financial ruin, unnecessary risk taking, family chaos and turmoil or (insert anything else here that sucks BIG time! )…………….

And when you ‘find’ YOUR ROCK BOTTOM, treat it as a gift!  It is the path to sobriety, hence peace and freedom if you choose to embrace it and respect it for what it is trying to TEACH you.

You will know when it is time. Be patient.  It may take many attempts. This is OK.

Practice Self Compassion.

All I can say from my personal experience is that being Sober is the best thing I have ever done for myself, – I never thought I would say that.

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