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Reach: 72.4k Reg & 86k+ Facilities & 26.8M Social Media + (Email Community Total 180k) Nations largest organic addiction related community. Welcome Andrea Grubb Barthwell, M.D., F.A.S.A.M., is the founder and CEO of Two Dreams and past president of ASAM
On August 28, 2016, just after midnight my phone rang, it was the call I KNEW would be coming. The call I had moved 1200 miles trying to outrun. My 25 yr old son Anthony had overdosed on heroin and lost his life.

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As I said, I didn’t think this was going to happen, I KNEW IT WAS GOING TO. It doesn’t prepare you in any way when it comes though, that knowledge doesn’t make it any easier to accept. It is far worse than the imagination can create and is truly something no parent should ever have to go through. I didn’t scream at God, try to bargain or bemoan the unfairness of the reality.

 

My 25 yr old son Anthony had overdosed on heroin and lost his life by: Erin Berndt Click to Tweet

Instead, my only thought was in desperately needing to know that God had my son, that he was safe in heaven.

Even though I had not been the most faithful servant and had spent my life believing that my own life choices had earned me a place in hell, the most important thing in my life had become the obsessive need to make sure my son had made it into heaven.

The 28th was a Sunday and on Monday night I was crying to my husband that I still had not received a sign that He had my son. My husband, knowing how my son and I would watch the birds when he was younger, told me to watch my birdfeeders, that that is how my sign would come. The next morning, for the first time in my life, I saw a huge bald eagle swoop down from the heavens and I knew my son had earned his wings.

Later in the day when I shared this with my daughter she exclaimed “omg Mom, there was an eagle flying over my car yesterday” (1200 miles away).

On Wednesday my 6 yr old grandson, Anthony’s son saw one at his bus stop and on Thursday morning, Anthony’s girlfriend and her mother saw one in yet another separate town. My son’s death also helped me escape a 10 yr stint on 13 different prescriptions and I was able to completely quit cold turkey, finally accepting 4 mos later that I had been battling my own addiction silently.

After realizing fully that there is indeed a God and that He truly loves us ALL, I knew that I needed to become involved in something bigger than myself, that somehow I needed to make a difference and prove to the world that addicts are no less than any other person in this world. I needed an outlet, I needed to be involved, I needed to prove to them that they are so much more than they believe.

That they haven’t been written off and forgotten. That recovery is possible. That pasts don’t matter to God. That everything they think is unforgivable inside of them is just their own fears and not based in any truth.

I started Holy Spirit Recovery for exactly that reason, to help addicts, parents, siblings, spouses and even friends to understand that addiction isn’t a choice and it does not negate anyone’s future capabilities. I started in the hopes that in my future I would be able to reach an even higher calling, to directly impact lives on a daily basis.

To provide hope and instill in all that God loves us equally despite our pasts. My plans are to continue to help anyone who needs my help in any way from finding rehab for a loved one to just being a kind word that someone desperately needs to hear. My son’s death was not in vain and as I work my way toward the future I am confidant that someday I will find a way to help ensure that everyone who needs treatment is able to find it and afford it!

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I lived with a group of all male roommates when I was 18 and still experimenting. I had yet to know what full-blown drug addiction was.

chelsearae

Chelsearae SFYB Contributing Author

I lived in a city with a beautiful landscape surrounded by mountains, but I spent most of my 18th summer locked inside, smoking, snorting, and swallowing substances, instead of enjoying it. My roommate and best friend, Miles, always (at least in the beginning) had a lot of money, but I never saw him go to one day of work.

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He would make vague claims about his past in Seattle and the money he saved from working at a nice restaurant there. He would describe to me how easy it was to be nice and outgoing to the customers when he was on Oxy. I still couldn’t understand how someone could actually walk around and function, let alone go to work on this stuff.

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I had absolutely no money, (though I did have a car we could use so I felt I was contributing in a way), and he paid for everything.

He even bought all of my paintings, which I had a stack of when I met him. He put them up all around the place. I didn’t paint again for quite a long time, although it used to be my number one passion.

 We did cocaine, pills, OxyContin, and smoked a lot of weed when none of those were available. I considered all of these people close friends of mine.

I lived with a group of all male roommates when I was 18 and still experimenting Click to Tweet

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Realizing How Much I Didn't Mean to My 'Friends' Click to Tweet

One friend that would come over was named Spencer. Spencer had won 20 grand on a scratch ticket and had become a hardcore drug addict as the result. His poison was smoking oxy off of foil. He was big guy and pretty attractive a lot of bling, liked gold chains and rings but acted like a child a most of the time. He used to drive around, smoking oxy, get so high he would throw up out the window, and turn around and continue smoking more. A real dumb-ass once you got to know him

He would blow the smoke into a balloon and re-inhale it until it was gone. Sometimes he would pass the balloon to me. Spencer would either be really nice to me, or call me names. He would literally call me a bitch and say I was worthless, and then stop and smile and tell me I was awesome.

sibling_bickering

Spencer and I used to bicker like siblings, and one day he and I, along with 3 or 4 other friends were sitting in Miles’s room smoking weed or something.

Things escalated and I pushed him, it was playful and we were laughing and he pushed me to the floor, he was holding down my arms and I started getting a little freaked out and told him to get off me. Instead of getting off me he pulled my shirt down and I started getting really scared and screaming for him to stop. Instead of stopping he pulled my bathing suit top over in front of everyone. Everyone saw what happened and no one said anything, and when I recall this I wonder if they would have said anything if he proceeded to pull the rest of my clothes off or go even further than that.

sturgis2

Thankfully it went no further than that and he got up off of me. I re-adjusted my top and left the room. I did not move out or stop talking to them like I probably should have, but just pretended nothing happened and continued living there. Luckily Spencer didn’t come over that often.
chelsearae

Chelsearae SFYB Contributing Author

It wasn’t long after I discover Stop Frying Your Brain, they had lots of funny clips and great articles that I started reading. Then as I read, I slowly realized I had a pretty serious problem. One day I reached out to them. They hooked me up with a first class center. Great People.

That damn stupid Stop Frying Your Brain song kept rattling around in my head after visiting their website. It was worse than it’s a small world at Disneyland. Eventually… I would hook up with those guys and it’s all because of that one stupid song. Thanks guys you changed my life.

Just push play below (The little arrow >)

 

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