Combing the Floor for Coke Crumbs

chelsearae

Chelsearae SFYB Contributing Author

It was another night of drugs in the apartment I lived in. I was only 18 years old, still relatively new to the world of drugs, and was surrounded by my male friends; Miles the shady OxyContin lover, Richard the musician, Spencer the fiend for chasing the dragon. We all stayed up the entire night doing coke and chatting away excitedly. Eventually, the last lines got split out on the table and we did them. Soon after this, we knew that it was gone.

 

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This feeling is an almost tangible sensation in the air in a room full of people who love drugs. The conversation eventually tapers off and people speak less and less. Soon, the only measure of conversation is the odd sentence someone manages to get up the motivation to speak every once in a while. Everyone’s eyes start getting that empty and fiending look in them. You start noticing that people glance at the floor every so often, trying to hide the fact that they are hoping a bit of coke fell on the floor.

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It’s similar to walking through an empty festival ground after the party is over and knowing everyone in your group is hoping that some extra drugs fell out of someone’s pocket unnoticed, lying on the ground, and that they will be the lucky one to come upon it. It’s a shameful state to be in, but the craving is stronger than the shame. This wasn’t the case for my friend Miles, however. The sun was up and we were coming down from the coke, and no sooner had the other guys left the room before he was down on his hands and knees, combing the carpet determinedly for just one little crumb of spare cocaine.

“What are you doing?” I asked. “I am pretty sure some fell on the floor earlier, so I’m just trying to find it,” he replied. This was a situation that I imagine someone should be embarrassed to be seen in, but for him, the craving was stronger.

Miles also wasn’t above combing the ashtrays to look for smoke-able butts when he ran out of cigarettes, but it was something he would only do in front of me. In front of everyone else, he kept his mask in place and it worked quite well, at least for a little while. I knew his true colors though, at least to some degree. I watched his determined floor-combing with some measure of coke-comedown-addled detachment, somewhat fascinated.

I’ve never been huge into cocaine. I mean sure, I would never say no to free drugs being lined out in front of me, but it wasn’t my favorite. Plus, even if he did find a small, leftover rock, the effect wouldn’t even be noticeable. What was the point of that? This was one of the few times I saw the real face beneath my “best friend” and partner in crime, and it didn’t look so pretty. Years would pass, however, before I would finally wake up and realize how ugly this life was. In the end I ended up contacting SFYB and they hooked me up with the read deal.

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chelsearae
A SFYB Senior Author and SFYB alumin. Fan base of about 80,000. She is the personal assistant of Mr Robert Henslee SFYB founder. A great example of what someone can accomplish who desires to get their life in order. She is on assignment in Europe on our new international joint venture soon to be announced. Please watch for the press release.

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