Love Wins

john wallace

John SFYB Admin/Outreach

Back before admission of powerlessness was even near a possibility, still convinced of myself and the limitless future that lay ahead for me, admitting I was an addict and waiving the white flag of complete defeat was a fate I never saw coming.

Today I embrace the blessing of my bottom for it alone caused me to see through the haze and reach for the perfect help I received when putting my heart towards that which is not of this world. This world possesses no remedy for my ailment, has no cure for my disease and serves no purpose but to serve me which is all I’ll be if I buy into its allure, a single entity all by myself regardless of the proximity of other people.

At the end of the day I found myself all alone even in a crowd, the loneliness of my illness closed in on me with a ferocious velocity and there I remained for far too long. Each misdeeds and act against my fellow human led me further into a place of isolation and not the guilt nor shame for these actions drove me into surrender but the echoing realization that were it not for change I would stay there forever and never feel connection nor comradery again. Lost to the cosmos, adrift for eternity and all by myself I walked in and out of people’s lives like a tornado leaving behind casualties in my wake, addicts rarely fall alone.

Crawling and scraping my way through life and leaving a trail of pain in my wake completely unaware or unconcerned with the effects my disease had on others as I spread the sickness from one person to the next.

This illness effects our soul’s, body mind and spirit all diminish as we lose the light from our eyes and slowly fall into a place of acceptance that this is the only life we’ll ever know. Hope fades and our loves ones who hold on for the longest begin to lose their grip as we crash through our last safety net. The reality is that such loss accelerated our pace towards absolute zero and surviving the drop is the only trick, can you make it to the other side and not die. Stay alive is the name of the game and our brain has been fooled to believe that drugs equal survival pushing us harder and harder towards that which is killing us most, stay alive for on the other side is the light.

 

To the parent, lover, friend, or capable child I suggest giving the addict in your life a wide berth and protect yourself from the relentless assault their selfish nature will impede upon your life.

To the police man, the judge, the jailer, and the hospital staff treat us as you would one any sick person for that is the driving force behind our actions, an illness from which there is no known cure. Do not pardon our crimes, ignore our misdeeds, or free us from responsibility either, simply know that they are born from a place of brokenness and disease not malice or evil and treat us as such.

When we few who do finally find the path of recovery we will be the ones reaching out to the addict in your life from a place of love for it us alone who can help us. The criminalization and onslaught of incarceration for drug related offenses has clearly failed by way of a deterrent and perpetuating further utilization of such tactics will only serve to over burden an already broken system. No prison term nor congressional decree ever pulled the needle from my vein, your laws won’t stop it nor will your ignorance or ignoring it slow it down, Love is the answer!

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john wallace
John is a SFYB Outreach Team Leader / Admin / Author / National Speaker and is one hell of a good guy! Tks@R

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