Its true I swear GOD got me pregnant – Are you serious?

Robert Henslee

Robert Henslee SFYB CEO/Founder

FORWARD: SFYB is an organization made for addicts by addicts and we’re a second chance organization. We enjoy a community of authors struggling with addiction, in recovery, mental Illness and a number of other challenges.

This particular author sent me a story (below) a few weeks back begging me to publish it even though I felt it spoke loudly to her mental illness but hey I’m no doctor just my personal observation and opinion. Regardless and against my advice she made me promise I would. So I have. Written by her own hand. (Below)

Erin has been working with SFYB for a while now and earned the title of Sr Business dev.  Recently, Erin went to “help” one of our clients/prospects… went dark and disappeared all night (spent the night in a hotel room paid for by the client according to her own admission)…

Upon her return announces how she and one other our colleagues (Traci of Recovery chicks affiliated with Erin) were magically “hired” into a great position/job by another organization (our potential client). Pissing off the entire SFYB social media staff and disrupting our organization. Her loyalty and morality limited by opportunity and a hotel room. Sad if you ask me. This generated a lot of hate for her and the facility withing my organization. For those that don’t know me we’re a pretty large concern and this was a management nightmare.  Really disrupted us internally. 

Prior to her meeting our client and going to “help at the event – Fed Up Rally” (client was handing out literature promoting his services) … I met with the owner of the facility he promised me hiring of SFYB staff would NOT happen man to man. He put on a BIG show about how loyal he was pounding his chest and shouting loudly about his moral fiber. It was a convincing act. 

It will be interesting to see if he’s a man of his word. We’ll see. If it continues… I guess ALL will know the answer soon enough. These things have a way of working out.

If the treatment facility can’t keep their word in a simple matter like this it’s unlikely they’ll keep their word to clients seeking help. Therefore all affiliates make note. (Da Brain added the organizations in question to the non-referral list circulated with all our affiliates). 

This is unacceptable way of doing business. When I called this man out on the above he told me and I quote “This is business get over it”. This is NOT the way Da Brain does business. I trusted this man. In my experience if a man’s word is worthless so will be the organizan he represents. There’s more details to this story but beyond the scope of this writing.  I will update it as the story unfolds. Something wrong here. I smell a rat. I’ll find out. Personally what really pissed me off this man insulted me as a Vietnam Vet. Not a wise move on his part. 


Update Sept 17 2017 – Turns out this man claiming to be the owner of the treatment facilities in question isn’t even the owner. He runs a small detox operation “used” by the treatment facility parading around town as the owner but doesn’t have ANY stake in the treatment facility whatsoever according to the REAL owners. A phoney. 

This is why he refused to stop distributing his material. I sent him screenshot after screenshot of ppl complaining about the treatment facility and the situation literally begging him to stop his “new girls” from continuing to post. This was brand damaging to the treatment facility. He could’ve cared less and refused to do so.  So at the time this confused me, no reasonable treatment center owner would do this.  WTF?

It was if he didn’t care about the treatment center. Turns out there’s a reason why. He doesn’t. This occurred in countless groups over and over. I received numerous complaints from many of our affiliates.   

He uses his illusional affiliation (as owner of the treatment center) leveraging vendors (alluding to huge deals – not really possible) to realize discount services from vendors even though he’s not the owner of the facility. That was my experience with him.  In my mind’s eye that’s fraud. We generated a marketing proposal for the facility while the man doesn’t even own it wasting time and precious resources of our organization. 

Proving not only is his word is worthless but he’s misrepresenting himself too. The REAL owners of the facility have contacted me since and we’re working out the details to clean up this mess.  So we will see if the real owners really care. (Stay tuned) All affiliates make note.  This kind of behavior gives us all a bad name in the addiction business would be my thoughts. Tks@R

Erin goes on to explain to friends (messenger txt ) how she was just hanging out until she ran across some people who had some money and could enable her.  Soon after I posted this on the site I got a number of calls from other organizations communicating she has a history of doing this. This is how all the hate is generated in our community in my opinion. Bad for all of us. 

These kind of people are responsible for all the infighting which make us all look bad.. Backbiters haters of God. What I detest most is all the backstabbing and toxic puke generated by these Individuals who continue to attack team members behind the scene cuz of their own selfish disregard for our fellow addicts…. chasing the dollar. A bunch of hypocrites if you ask me. 

Calling you friend to your face while stabbing you behind your back.  No call for this. I have included a few screenshots below to demonstrate. This behavior in my opinion is just pure EVIL while hiding behind GOD. Disgusting. This isn’t how God works nor is this how real friends work. 

If you have an organization with any assets it would be a huge mistake in my opinion to give editor or admin access.  Every single lead or contact that came in…  attempts to monetise was my experience. Hence the situation we’re discussing now.

They will attack not only your personal behind your back….  and your digital assets such as Facebook accounts causing severe loss of productivity while driving your operational costs up. Maybe we all should start doing the same to them as a community? I recently had a young man call me and accuse our team of doing this, turns out he was right… so I openly apologize to him. 

In their defense they claim SFYB is a greedy organization … who only cares about the almighty dollar. I would point out… defrauding and slandering the organization you’re working for while turning out their prospects/clients for a dollar might make you a hypocrite.

This matter is currently under investigation as we’ve filed criminal complaints against her seeking to be made whole once again. Additionally there is a young child involved here that recently came home with a huge tattoo of satan on the chest. No surprize there. A HUGE RED FLAG

I would suggest family members contact HRS immediately. A reasonable person would think something is very wrong here.  So enjoy the story folks…  Lastly many thanks to the huge volume of calls supporting da brain from the community. I appreciate all of you for the love and support in this matter. Tks@R

Note this story was written and sent in for publication by Erin herself:
The phone rang at 12:13 am on Sunday August 28th,  and the fact that I was even awake to see it ring in itself was not normal. I had no idea just how much that call would change my life or of the sequence of unbelievable events that would follow.


Erin Berndt you’re Fired !

I answered the call from my ex husband to hear his frantic voice over the 1200 miles telling me our son had been rushed to the emergency room unresponsive.

As a mom, I knew this was coming, it was the reason I had moved so far away, naively believing I could outrun his death, because I knew he was already gone.

 In that moment, my whole life was changed irrevocably, forever altered. A moment in time that becomes a “before” and “after” as we continue on.

  I didn’t go through the hating, blaming or trying to bargain him back. Instead I turned to the God I believed had been responsible for every shitty choice I had made in my life and condemned me to an eternity in hell for my sins. I begged for a sign from Him that my Anthony had made it to Him.

  The vomiting and diarrhea started immediately after the call came. I had no desire to eat anything but not even water would stay down. I couldn’t sleep, so afraid to let that first night pass, to get into the next day, a day where my son no longer existed.

  On Monday night while on the phone with my husband I was saying to him that no sign had come yet, he told me to watch my birdfeeders that that is where my sign would be. First thing Tuesday morning as I sat on my porch an American eagle flew down from above and slowly hides along the surface of the lake, circling back around and performing for me for quite some time. I was in awe, I knew as soon as it approached that this was indeed my sign. That my son who had so loved the birds of prey and fishing was spreading his angelic wings in the guise of the largest fiercest bird that he could!

Later that day while sharing my story with my daughter who was also 1200 miles away, she exclaimed “omg Mom! There was an eagle flying over my car yesterday”. I was breathless. The next day my grandson (Anthony’s 6 yr old) saw an eagle at his bus stop and the following day, Ant’s girlfriend and her mother saw one in yet another town..not one of us ever having seen a wild eagle before.

The funeral and burial in MA were horrific and filled with drama but I was calm and serene despite being dehydrated and having had to be cleared by EMS when I nearly passed out in the airport on my way back.

That whole first week after truly realizing there was a God I had begun to go through so many changes. I began forgiving people, to the point that I reached out to anyone I felt I had wronged or who had wronged me and I genuinely apologized, every day there was a major change or lesson that I humbly learned. I had no idea what was happening but it was so obvious to me as I learned and acknowledged each new days event. Still not able to keep anything down, my moods shifting from the lowest of low to highs I should not have been feeling. How could I laugh, when my child had just died? I wasn’t sleeping either, but about 2 hrs a night and I had stopped taking the 13 different prescriptions I had spent the last 9 yrs numbing myself with when I couldn’t keep anything down.

When I returned from Mass to FL I kept noticing that everything had changed to me. Everything looked new and fresh. The houses in our city all looked as though each had had extensive lawn work done, everything sparkled and was BEAUTIFUL. We drove through the city on an errand and I kept telling my 17 yr old daughter how beautiful it was and pointing out the fact that we weren’t seeing a single “for sale/rent” sign.

I tried to go to bed on the one week night, right after midnight. I was so exhausted I can still clearly remember thinking that I was finally going to get some sleep, but I couldn’t have been further from the truth. I laid down to sleep and that is when God took over…….

It started with the beginning of time or at least before what we have been told was the beginning of time because there were dinosaurs with the people and it continued right up until President Trump was elected. Remember this was only Sept 4th and they were still all behind Hillary. The things I saw that night were amazing and I knew it meant something. It wasn’t a dream but lucid dreaming/visions and I knew when I got out of bed that morning that I had seen truth.

Truth that most of the world did not have any idea about. I explained it to my family as being shown that there was basis in both evolution and the bible because in my very new understanding of what had been shown to me that was how my brain processed it. I saw giants, and so many other things that really made no sense to me at the time but which have all been revealed to me as things have continued to go on.

  At this point I am still only getting a couple of hrs of actual sleep each night, and I am eating normally. I explained it to my husband and youngest daughter that I felt like a computer being downloaded as all of this new information is assaulting my brain and I’m understanding it as it’s happening and at night things begin to happen. Doors and drawers opening and closing.

The tv going on and off, when I would comment that it had turned off it would come back on. On about Monday or Tuesday while messing around with my daughter I realize that suddenly I can hold a tune and actually a beat and I am singing and dancing in ways I have NEVER been able to in my life. And my mind is still receiving information, I am sharp and focused. On Thursday morning after 2 hrs of sleep I woke up and immediately felt off….my mouth felt odd, I had weighed myself on Sunday and was 197 lbs.

But this morning I could feel the top of my mouth which must have been filled with fat because it felt foreign to me. When I got out of bed…..I was floored. I don’t have a scale so there is no actual pounds lost but in a guess, at least 30 lbs was gone. My stomach was flat, my breast high and perky and my nipples had shrunk to something I hadn’t seen since I had gotten pregnant with my first child almost eyes before! I went to put on my glasses but I couldn’t see. I looked around with them off and realized I was seeing perfectly without them.

Now, my eyesight had been so bad that I needed both cataract surgery and corneal replacements. Yet, here I was after 20 yrs with no glasses at all! A little bit later I pull some ice out of the freezer and it starts melting in my hands. So I start testing that out, I was actually able to unthaw a steak in a matter of minutes. I also couldn’t feel heat with my hands and could melt an ice cube on my body in under 30 seconds. When my mother came over later in the day her mind went into overload and she had to leave. The look of terror on her face will stay with me forever.

 At this point my husband who still lives in Mass is starting to worry about me and sends the police out to check on me. Funny thing is, our daughter had run away 3 weeks before Anthony’s death, the police were here then. The same officer who had been out 3 weeks earlier came….with 2 other officers. They hadn’t sent 3 cars out when my daughter was missing but they did for a non violent wellness check. I began babbling at the cop, he couldn’t deny it because I looked absolutely nothing like I had less than 4 weeks before. Here in FL they can commit you for observation against your will. Here I am telling the cops what had happened to me and the only thing they wanted to know was, did I want to hurt someone or myself! Lol….I told them absolutely not, I actually felt compelled to heal. They all left without taking me to the Looney bin!

On Friday night my very thick unmanageable hair had worked itself into a knot and so I cut off the bottom few inches and threw it in my trashcan and went to sleep. When I got up after my now regular couple of hours the first thing my eyes fell upon was my trashcan, because lying on top of the hair was a small clear plastic box with a pair of earrings in it I had never worn, let alone put in that box or taken from my jewelry box! I knew their purpose was going to become clear.

An Example Of Love & Friendship as these individuals spread their toxic puke behind the scene with SFYB team members disrupting our organization

In the middle of the afternoon I put my phone down on the table next to me where I always put it when a couple of seconds later I noticed it was missing. This began a frantic 2 he tee my clean house apart from top to bottom. We searched everywhere.

When I went to search the couch for the second time I found a pink lighter, on it. “It is all in your hands”. I knew immediately that that was not our lighter and it had not come from anyone visiting because we didn’t get visitors. A couple of minutes later I walked over to the table and there appeared my phone right before mine and my daughter’s eyes.

I don’t know how this took place, I remember doing this in detail but not how I was led to do it…it was just instinctual. I took a shower that evening and put on my wedding dress, the purple earrings (which matched my dress) high heels, make up, even my headpiece and hair up. Now I had not been able to wear heels for years due to my bad neck and back (the reason for all those pills) but here I was rocking heels for the first time in years and following this insane pattern. I was walking from my dock on the lake, through my house and down the street to the 3rd telephone pole and back all while singing “Dancing in the Sky”by Dani and Lizzy.

As I am doing this I am also completely in tune with my environment and I can see people in my neighborhood who do not belong. There are people outside watching me as well as others I can’t physically see them but I am aware they are there somehow.

The grass is sparkling as though with fairy dust and my body and mind are so in tune with repeating this and making the sign of the cross at each place. I have no idea how long this went on for. I talked to my husband a couple of times during the evening and time actually went backwards. Every time I looked at the clock it was always around 11 pm. At some point I realize that I am repeating these 3 locations 3 x each and my mind suddenly grasps that concept and he’s start flooding my mind. My husband if Fedor III, I am his 3rd wife, 3 things drove me to move, the house we are in has doors windows and the address all in multiples of 3 and on and on and on. 3 is so deeply embedded in my entire life, but until that light went off in my I had never drawn that conclusion before. But suddenly I realized that all of the coincidences in my life and the ability of sight that I never understood all make sense.

As I walked to the end of the dock the lighter kept coming back to my head “it’s all in your hands”, as I walked down the dock I walked right off the edge believing that God would put something solid under me. The second time I did it, I took the phone in the lake with me. Kaylee had gone to sleep in a shock overload from watching me for the last 2 weeks. She has PTSD and is BiPolar with audio/visual hallucinations. So imagine trying to give her some sense of reality while all of these supernatural things are happening all around her. So, from here on out I can’t call my husband nor can I wake up Kay because I know what this could do to her fragile mental state.

Lol An another of “Love & Friendship” as these individuals spread their toxic puke behind the scene with SFYB team members disrupting our organization

 After what seemed like forever, I took my exhausted self to the shower and bed. As I hit the bed, right at midnighton 9/11 and laid down, suddenly I was slammed in my stomach from inside, that is the best way to describe the feeling.

I sat up in bed and turned on the light to watch as my stomach began to grow. I was so calm, and collected it seemed perfectly natural. I continued to grow just as I would have if pregnant, I was outside walking where people saw me.

 As I got bigger and it was happening fast I had this sense of calm. I knew I should have been panicking but this insane, IMPOSSIBLE act was taking place. I was in and out of the house I couldn’t sit still. This went on for 3 hrs when I got so big that I knew something was going to happen soon, I grabbed a stack of white towels and patiently waited for what I thought was going to be a new child. In my mind during all of this time I had rationalized it out that for some reason God was giving me a child. I was positive it must be a boy, but other than that my mind just couldn’t expand upon any greater meaning. The pressure was real, the size unmistakeable when it hit me as to why I had lost all of that weight. This would not have been recognizable at the size I was at. I wouldn’t have believed in the supernatural and I would have called 911 and gotten myself to a hospital. Yet, I had absolutely no desire to do that. I was utterly confident I could do all of this myself. I had baby clothes and blankets here from my grandchildren and I was just….ready.

 At 3:33 am my water broke, it soaked the white towels in a big wet rush of fluid, just as when your water really breaks. But then nothing, until my stomach deflated and went back flat….just like that! Gone. My mind broke for a bit here. I was distraught, confused and insanely trying to rationalize this. I can remember looking down at these perky boobs and thinking well, if I had just had a child they wouldn’t look like this and they just dropped!

My next thoughts were perhaps the baby was somewhere I had been walking to, so I went through the house searching, out to the dock, down the street to the telephone pole. There was nothing. I was frantic in my mind, trying to rationalize it. I waited 3 hrs, when that came and went I thought maybe it would be 3 days. At this point, I’m also realizing that God is Real and all this insane shit taking place makes a lot of things people to believe to be untrue, actually true. So I figured maybe the storm was going to bring the baby.

If you believe this was easy, you are so wrong. I had almost lost my daughter in early August I HAD lost my son only 2 weeks earlier and I was a mess! The feelings of guilt, that I had only gained this because I lost my child. It felt almost like I was trading one for the other and that screws with your head.

By Wednesday when nothing had happened I was exhausted, I was still getting the downloads of knowledge. I was broken and lost so I went seeking council from the church. I went to 2 different churches. The way they treated me was debasing. I left both churches after being humiliated. One pastor continuously watched the clock while the other simply told me to write a book. I could see in their eyes that they didn’t believe me. These people of God, they didn’t even know that He was real and the power that He could wield. I left the last church frantic and hysterical and pretty damn sure I may need some serious mental help.

 I went home and called 911 on myself. I talked to the operator for over a half hour until the police came…..another 3 of them, all from the previous visit! Now, here I am telling these officers as well as the 911 operator and again they listened to my story, asked me if I wanted to hurt myself or anyone else and when again I told them “absolutely not”, they left me alone.

A brief interlude here. We all can understand how terrorists are found. Through algorithms and combinations of words used. I had been posting everything that was happening to me on facebook and had already been under “observation”, this is why there were strangers in my neighbors houses.

The next morning I watched black Ford Fusions return the neighbors to their homes. I could “see” that my phone was being watched and I had this complete understanding of how all of the underground monitoring and finding of people was accomplished. Never in my life had I heard about this technology yet I knew exactly how it was being done and everything I knew to be fact would later be released in the Wikileaks Vault 7 announcement. When that was actually released I was working with an Anonymous member and learning so much more of what is hidden from us in this very supernatural place we call home.

On Sunday September 17th it happened again, in the middle of the afternoon I could feel something happening my stomach started to grow again.

Now this time though Kay was here to watch and I had my phone so my husband, Fedor (fader), got to see it. It went on for hours this time, about 9 I guess. I was so excited this time I didn’t watch the clock. I was just astonished that God was giving me this miracle. I had been on the phone with Fedor later on in the afternoon after hanging up I walked out the door onto the porch and put my hand on my stomach and it just sunk into my stomach and as I looked down…..back to flat…poof! Gone! Another meltdown, the questions “why God”?

But still, no anger, because His voice was always inside of me talking to me and telling me that this was happening for a reason and although I didn’t understand it yet, I would in time.

 When God fills you, it is inexplicable. The feelings and thoughts that swim in your head. Why me? Has been echoing in my head all along and as I try to share my experiences and tell people that He is indeed real their reactions are nowhere near what I expected.

I hadn’t prepared myself for the derision, cruelty and disbelief. I only saw this as a proof that God was real and EVERYONE should know this. In my mind it solved so much at what I thought was wrong in the world from my very narrow understanding of it back then.

As I started that 3rd week after Anthony’s death and the start of things beyond my control I became aware of changes in my body. Tender breasts, nausea and a sense of smell I had only ever experienced twice in my life, and that was when I had been pregnant, over 25 yrs before.

I hadn’t thought about that aspect, that I could truly be pregnant. The strange way it had happened the previous 2 Sundays seemed more possible than an actual pregnancy. I had had my tubes tied when I was 22 yrs old. I had cervical cancer at 23 and had to have ¾ of my cervix removed and 4 yrs previous I had had my uterine lining removed and my husband had had a vasectomy 27 yr earlier.

But, hey, I was in no position to question this. I just went with it for a couple weeks (I did share all of this with my cousin and my niece) but after taking a pregnancy test and it coming back negative, I was left lost and confused again.

I noticed after the pregnancy test that my gifts of singing and dancing were gone and I believed that this was all done for a reason and that that reason was to tell the world God was returning! The joyful expected Second Coming!

As I said earlier, to me, this was all happiness and beauty, butterflies and rainbows. I wanted to share my story with the world. I sent e-mails and made countless phone calls, but none went through.

My e-mails would only say “not sent” and phones would just ring and ring, no machine ever picking up.  I did get through one day to a news station in Orlando, I talked to the “station manager”, who patiently listened to me tell my whole story for an hour. At the end of the call he politely told me that it was “very interesting but we are only accepting political stories right now”. Are you kidding me? I have called news stations before and when it wasn’t a juicy enough story they hung up on me. So, who had sat there listening to me for an hour without interrupting?  Looking back I think it was God stopping me because there was still so much for me to learn, this was just the beginning of what He had planned.

 As I searched for a way to connect to the world to get my message out, somehow I stumbled into the online Recovery community and this too was exactly as He planned it. Immediately I made friends and connections and found myself immersed in my need to help others, slowly writing my story from the beginning of my life, which now I realize was just a way for me to spin my wheels while playing out the master plan He had laid for me.

 For the next few months I threw myself into the recovery world. My connection with God was so strong and dreams and visions continued. The synchronicities were always happening. Things we call “coincidence”, looking at the clock at the same time every time, getting messages from the tv, radio, strangers in messages. Nothing that happens in life is a coincidence. This is how God communicates with us.

 As the holidays came I had met a lot of great people in recovery, I felt that God was connecting me with the people He needed to, and in my naivete I completely overlooked the fact that if there was a real God then there also had to be a real devil.

I had been writing my story and publishing a chapter a week through another miraculous connection I had made with Stop Frying Your Brain and owner Robert Henslee who had “coincidentally” found me the very first day I decided to take to Instagram because I didn’t feel my reach was getting far enough on facebook.

I was asked to tell my story live on FB off of a friends page who I truly though was chosen by God, despite the fact he kept telling me he really didn’t believe in God.

Erin Announces She’s Pregnant by GOD !!

(As she totally disrupts the choose freedom group blew them up too)

On January 2nd I did my live. I talked for 2 hours and only went as deep as telling about the miracle weight loss and my eyes. Believing I was paving the road to tell the rest, so unaware of what was about to happen yet again.

I had been studying the bible in the months that had passed and was following many religious people and I noticed the trend of the second coming and how it seemed everyone was talking about it. Predicting that 2017 would be the year it happened. I felt pretty confident that this was indeed the message.

Yet, all of the cataclysmic things the bible was predicting had not been shown to me. I was only seeing new beginnings and living in peace after He came back!

 I met a woman my age off of the page I went live from, her name is Traci and we hit it off immediately. There was a force drawing me to her. By this time, my hands and feet would “buzz” when God was involved, I was slowly learning to read His signs. I told Traci everything and she was so kind and she believed me right away. We found we could actually speak without communicating and that in itself was mind blowing! The connection was just so strong! She was even able to “see” something my friend Jess had seen at my house, an aura surrounding me. Traci picked it up the next day after Jess and I had seen it and came out with, “an aura”? That floored me. It was one thing to have that connection with God but another human being? Just Wow!

My live was a disaster as terrible things happened with the owner of the page I had done my live from and after the hurt inflicted there I pulled back, afraid to expose myself any further for a while.

While searching for answers I came across a young minister, I had no idea how young at the time, and I began to talk to him. I felt drawn to him and started talking to him. His name had triggered a story I had heard 20 yrs earlier. It turned out that the story I remembered had been his uncle and I know this minister’s father, whom he has never met. He is only 19 yrs old and I unloaded this on him. He was so mature and deep and understanding. The only answers he could give me was that I worked in miracles, signs and wonders and he had never before met someone with all of my powers. Quite a humbling thing to hear from a man of God. Many heartfelt thanks to Z!

On January 3rd, Fedor came for a visit and then went back to Mass. On the 14 th of January my friend Jess came to visit. She has a family that is full of psychics and I have known her for almost 30 yrs. She is from the small town in Mass that I had just moved from.

Her aunt had called her just before leaving and told her to ask me about the “3 crowns of Jesus”. At the time it made no sense, I assumed it meant me, Traci and Jess since Traci had picked up on the aura Jess had seen on me. We assumed it had been my son surrounding me. We all could FEEL something was coming. We had no idea what but each of us mentioned it.

The next day was January 15, 2017. I was sitting outside on my porch when suddenly I heard loud and clear, “ you’re pregnant”. I stood up to go into the house to call Fedor (Kay was gone to a friends) and my stomach started “buzzing”  with this electrical feeling, best way I can explain it. It began to grow again. I was so sure this time. Even though Fedor was getting the message that this wasn’t going to turn out how I thought. I was positive, I mean…how many times can this happen? And why the fuck am I even able to think coherently?

Fedor was exhausted and I sent him to bed, positive that I would be waking him up around midnight to finally have this baby that kept appearing and disappearing within me. However at around 11 pm when I went to go to the bathroom I just had a severe bout of diarrhea and my stomach again went totally flat.

I was shattered. Because now in only 4 months I have lost 4 children. I am prostrate on the floor sobbing hysterically begging God for an answer, believing he basically just told me I am a piece of shit!  When he chuckles (yes God has a sense of humor) and I hear “you are still pregnant”. I am able to then pull myself together, while muttering under my breath “then why are you putting me through all of this”.

Now is a good time to go back and explain some things. I had said in the first post about understanding that I was now under surveillance. That I knew my phone and TV were both hacked but the truth is it went so much further than that.

On Sept 10th the house next door had sold. It had been on the market since we had moved in in May. Yet it was actually sold on Sept 10th, the day after I was in that house and the day before the first “false pregnancy”.  It took 4 mos of repairs to a house that needed absolutely nothing for my neighbors to move in. Their hired help told me it was a sheriff and her husband a catholic priest who were moving in. If you know anything about Catholicism…..a priest can Not marry. So that was my first clue they weren’t who they were said to be. But after they were here regularly and knowing I had just lost a child and was a woman of God, there was never any communication at all from them. I mean nothing….no words ever. My neighbors who live only a few feet away carry on as though Kay and I do not exist. Not normal behavior for people, let alone a cop and a priest. So, to this day I do not know which side they play for because as I have said the presence of good means also the presence of evil.

I live on a large lake and the entire back of my house is glass. After my awakening everything that happens around me is noticed. Every small detail. What I began to see was a pattern across the lake at night with lights. There would be 3 lights at night across the lake and at 10 each night they would all go out one by one.

I still had no normal sleep pattern so I would lay in bed at night but was up and down. When I would sit up in my bed in total darkness, a light across the lake would come on. Every single time! My bedroom only had sheer curtains modesty for some reason never entered my mind so every move I made was available if one took the time to watch. My mind absorbed every detail and I knew I was being watched 24/7 and that night vision apparatus had to be involved. Being so fresh and new to all of this and utterly trusting of our world, I thought it was protection. Now I am not sure who watches me. In the months since I watch over there all of the time as they like to play games with those lights, sending messages. Yet, no one approaches me.

 I was in the grocery store a couple of months back when I was approached by 2 strange men in checkout. One of them said I looked familiar and asked if he had coached my kids in sports. Well I have only lived here for a year, I know NO ONE but my parents here and I have been hiding myself because of my secrets.

So I responded simply “no”. He then said… are from Massachusetts. Central Mass near New Hampshire. My house in MA is exactly in central Mass 3 miles from the NH border. Please explain! That was the end of our conversation and I have never seen them again.

On January 22 the following Sunday we had a huge storm. There was actually a tornado warning and the bells were going off. But as I watched this storm I noticed that it wasn’t hitting us directly, it was as if we were in a giant bubble. The wind didn’t touch us the lightning was shooting sideways across the sky. And we sat perfectly safe. Our power went out 3x during that storm. The transformer blew 3x. Yet when we checked our power company’s website it showed us as the only ones without power in a city of 86,000 people.

I was receiving messages both directly in my head and from lots of outside sources. I was battling in my head with thoughts that came that would seem completely impossible. More things I knew without ever having heard the possibilities. After receiving another message from outside I made the decision to do a second live. This time announcing my pregnancy and the imminent return of Jesus.

My gifts returned, able to sing and dance again. I had every symptom you could possibly have and even had a positive pregnancy test. I went to 16 weeks and was showing a normal timed pregnancy when I got up on April with and knowing something was really wrong. I told my husband I could feel something and about an hour later, my stomach went flat after unexplainable never before gas.

This time my bounce back was quick, because I know so much more now than I did before. I know this isn’t over yet, I know God isn’t done and I know someone is going to have a child of God that will usher in a new age.

What I learned from January 15th until today has been a trip. Along with Traci I was led. I have the same connection with her as with Traci. She has insane gifts as well and recently the 3 crowns of Jesus was shown to be me.. I am not claiming a title only affirming that that message had come from Him and he later reaffirmed it to me.

There have been people in this community who have been of immeasurable help. In both good and bad ways. I had an excellent teacher who showed me so much but in the end turned on me. I didn’t hold any anger only appreciated all of the help he had given me in steering me where I needed to go and sharpening my skills.

I was loathe to label myself before and even more afraid to expose myself, but that is why all of this Has happened. It isn’t meant to be kept to myself and the push I feel to release this is beyond my control.

I would like to continue on here and fill in what is really going on in this world. Nothing is as it seems. What you think is impossible is the truth and those you label “conspiracy theorists” or “tin foil hat wearers” know far more than you realize. I am not by any means the only person out there figuring out the truth. But, that is foretold also for how could we usher in a new time if He did not prepare us. He has sent prophets now just as He has in the past. We put ourselves out there knowing there will be disbelief and ridiculing. I can only say, don’t waste your breath. Nothing you can say or can convince yourself of is going to change the outcome here. This is beyond all of our controls and I am but a messenger!

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My name is Erin Berndt WAS SFYB Sr Business Dev Exc/admin but author of some outrageous story about how GOD made her pregnant. (Her position with SFYB was terminated by senior management) I'm 46 yrs old I am married to my soul mate, Fedor. I have 2 children Dacia & Anthony from my ex husband who I spent 22 yrs of misery. He was an evil drunk who developed a love for pills-any pills. Our son left home at 15 because his uncle & father got him into drugs & drinking

Fedor has 2 grown daughters from his 1st wife & 19yr old Devin & 17yr old Kaylee from his 2nd wife who had decided while the kids were 9 & 11, that she was a lesbian. She partied too much & parented too little. Both kids have addiction issues & Kaylee has several mental health diagnoses. I got them at 10 & 12, LOVE at first sight. We had them most of the time but terrible things happened when they were in their mothers care

I was disabled in 2007 after 4 car accidents & 2 neck surgeries that made me worse. I've been on opiates for 9 yrs I moved to Fl at the end of March, running for many reasons. Five months later on Aug 28th at 12:13 am the call came & he was gone. He leaves behind my 6 yr old grandson Aiden. Aiden is having mental health issues since his dads death

Fedor still lives in MA because Devin is in recovery & on probation & can not leave the state yet. So it has been only Kaylee with me through this. Luckily God came & got me through it & on the right road. I'm off the opiates ( even though I never abused them), I have lost weight & had so many positive & inspiring changes.

My energy has gone into helping save addicts, help families, stop the stigma, raise awareness, make sure ALl 1st responders have Narcan, educate kids st a younger age, change the laws on dealers, hospital to treatment for addicts. More facilities & recovery AVAILABLE for all!
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